“Nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leafs a flower, but only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank to grief. So dawn goes down to day, nothing gold can stay” Robert Frost
November nights are drawing in. It is icy cold outside and dark by 4pm. Its officially ‘life by candle light’ time of year.
Don’t you think candle light makes everything look and feel so much more beautiful; magical even. It creates a lovely ambience
[ It drives the BF mental, plays on his chest apparently – an ailment that appears to effect a lot of men …. mmmm]
In a few weeks it will be joined by the glow of the Christmas tree, an angel and a single string of fairy lights that will dance around the fireplace.
Late afternoon everyday on Channel 5 its Christmas movie-time. When I can, I make sure everything’s completed before I settle down with my coffee [ preferably loaded with Baileys / or Bally Castle the Aldi cheaper dupe ] and lose myself for an hour or so.
The living room descends into darkness, the flicker of candles and smell of coffee fills the air.
I melt into the arm chair, into pure escapism. I’m temporarily transported back. I’m a young, carefree girl and I believe. I believe in the magic of Christmas, I believe in Santa.
I absolutely love Christmas; but this year I’m not running at it with my usual gusto. The usual excited anticipation has been replaced with a sense of the unexpected, dread even. Mums not here for the first time in my 46 years and the thought terrifies me.
I am however in my usual up-beat way going to try and enjoy the moments. Ok last week I had a major melt-down. Last week was a bastard. Last week reality hit me like a tonne of bricks and it hurt. A lot.
This is a new week.
A new mind-set.
My heart might not be in it but I intend to decorate the house, write the cards , eat the mince pies. Like I keep quoting … ‘stay gold’