LIFE | the tree …

I find that out of all the months of the year December is the hardest … my Birthday and Christmas falling within days of each other, spent without my Mum around just doesn’t feel the same.

While everybody is looking forward , I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Tears come from nowhere.

Don’t get me wrong I am looking forward to Christmas this year [ last year it didn’t even happen ] and I put the Christmas tree up last Sunday. Which is progress of sorts I guess

It’s not the best tree…

I found it squashed at the bottom of a box amongst a mix-match of pink, gold and purple baubles. I bodged it together and it’ll do. Its decidedly wonky and some of the branches are limp … but hey I’m not quite at the buy an all singing and dancing tree yet.

As the world gets more and more materialistic I find myself stepping away from it all ; does any of that matter in the big scheme of things? Does me having a crappy little tree make my Christmas any better , or worse than the lady across the road with her flashy , 6ft fancy tree…

No is the answer.

Christmas is much, much more than that . It’s about spirit , it is about remembering Christmas’s past and all those loved one who are no longer with us.

It is spending time with the people you love [ even those with a crappy tree.] I think it’s sadly lost in the buy, buy, buy culture.

My mum absolutely loved Christmas and I’m sure given time I will again… but just like my tree I’m a little bodged together at the moment , a work in progress 💗

#missyoumum

LIFE | Alcohol and I … the early years

Before we start can I just say it’s not big and it’s not clever to drink and get drunk … but let’s be fair it is bloody good fun!

I can remember my first experience with alcohol like it was yesterday …[ not including the Baby Cham mum used to let us have on special occasions and the glass of Sherry I had with my Grandad on Christmas Eve ] … it was actually 30-odd years ago!

Let me take you back. It was my first and only Jamboree [Brownie/ Guide/ Scout Camp] over in Luxemburg. I was only 13 ; I guess Mum and Dad thought I was in safe hands.

On our first night of freedom my friend Jackie [ lived next door but one, year older than me, pretty, big boobs, all the boys loved her] and I bought a bottle of Advocaat each . Luckily Jackie looked older than her years and like I said –  boobs. She got served.

Advocaat was thick and creamy like custard and I remember I didn’t really enjoy the taste. We hid in a bush just off camp and necked it all. Let’s just say half an hour later I had literally turned green and began throwing up. I was sent to bed … the Camp Leaders believing I had picked a bug up while travelling. [Face of an angel me …far too sweet and innocent to even consider I had been drinking ] Continue reading

LIFE | 47 things I’ve learnt in my 47 years

It suddenly dawned on me today that I am 48 in a-round-about a month [15th December if you’re contemplating sending a card] … or as the BF keeps reminding me – You are 50 in 2 years!

Firstly how the bloody hell did that happen; it only seems two minutes since my 40th which I celebrated in some style if I say so myself. I can party hard when I set my mind to it. I love nothing better than letting loose and having a good time. My celebrations dragged out over a whole 3 weeks and included amongst lots of other things a weekend in Manchester with the girls, The Kings Of Lyon at Sheffield Arena, lots of family and work meals / nights out. Lots and lots of champagne and cake.

40th Birthday celebrations in full swing

Well you are only 40 once…

I thought it might be fun today to  list ‘47 things I’ve learnt in my 47 years’… some serious, some silly … If I can muster that many up that is.

I’m older but definitely [when it comes to somethings] not wiser. I still feel like a child at times and I’m constantly evolving… which for some bizarre reason makes me sound like a chuffing monkey.

So here goes …

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LIFE | Cosy Nights in with Home Bargains

As the winter months draw in [ can you believe its November already ] it’s dark by 4pm and it is cold enough to freeze your brass knockers off a cosy night in at home is always a good call preferably in front of a roaring log fire with a Christmas movie playing and your loved ones close by. I love summer but there something warm and comforting about Winter. Its cold outside but baby its warm inside…

Ideally I love nothing better than getting in from work; climbing into a hot, steamy bubble bath, where I let the weight of the world dissolve away as I soak . When suitably relaxed I dry myself off, change into a fluffy pair of pj’s and settle down for a relaxing evening.

Luckily Home Bargains have everything you need to make this a reality – the ingredients for a perfect cosy night in.

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LIFE | Halloween, horror films and I …

Horror [ hawr-er] –

an overwhelming and painful feeling caused by something frightfully shocking, terrifying or revolting; a shuddering fear

I watched my first ever horror film with my Mum.

It was Salems Lot which by todays standards is probably really rather tame. My first introduction to Vampires and the living dead. It starred David Soul who my Mum had a soft spot for, I guess in the same way I do about Bradley Cooper.

I’m not sure what either one of us was thinking as we both had very vivid and over-active imaginations. I can remember being huddled on the settee together, the slightest noise freaking us both out. I can remember I wanted a wee but daren’t leave my mums side. I can remember Dad coming home from the pub and scaring us both to death. I can also remember the amazing adrenaline rush being scared gave me, but also the sleepless nights it led too.

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LIFE | today’s thoughts …

I’ve been thinking about the past year and how surreal those past months all seem.

I’m thinking about life … and death. Especially death [ bear with me it gets lighter ] and how ‘weird’ it is to get your head around which may sound odd; but sometimes I have to remind myself that mums dead. I have such vivid dreams about her that some mornings I wake up and for a few minutes everything is like it was before. Momentarily my life’s complete again ; it’s more or less perfect.

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MUSINGS | say no to plastic

It’s a bit of a different post from me today but it’s something I’m pretty passionate about .

Did you know that it takes 200 years for a plastic straw to decompose. You heard correctly two – hundred years!

That quite shockingly over 100 million marine animals are killed each year due to plastic debris in the ocean. Yep … one- hundred million!

In the UK only a third of plastic packaging used in consumer products is recycled each year, with almost two-thirds sent to landfill or incinerated

That’s a lot of big , worrying figures.

I sat and watched a programme just last week about plastic and the damage WE are inflicting on the planet .

My heart sank … and then broke a little .

I literally cried as I watched [ amongst other things ] pieces of plastic being flushed from a Shearwater Chicks belly. The chick was alive, the plastic doesn’t decompose it just sits in their stomachs leaving no room for food. Zapping their energy . Slowly killing them. That , that just wasn’t right. Over the last 50 years the Shearwater chick population has declined by a staggering 30%

To think we are partly responsible for destroying our planet makes me both very angry and extremely sad .

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