MUSINGS | adjusting my sails

It’s funny how things change isn’t it?

I used to spend every Saturday morning having coffee and putting the world to rights with my Mum. We would sit and chat ; happy in each other’s company. I used to look forward to our few hours together. Talking about everything and nothing.

Mum & Daughter time 💗

Saturday mornings these days are spent with my Dad in Sainsbury’s . I take him for his weekly ‘big’ shop, to make sure he’s eating and to have a little chat as we wander aimlessly up and down the aisles.

While I’d move heaven, earth and more to turn back the clock and have a coffee with Mum, hear her laughter, see her beautiful smile, give her a cuddle … I kinda appreciate the time I’m spending with my Dad, even if it is only deciding which ‘ready meal’ he should have…

Life is a whole load of highs and lows, good times and bad . I guess we move through life adjusting to our circumstances … even when sometimes we don’t want too.

If there’s one piece of advice I could give you it’s this:

Thrive in the good times, make lots of beautiful memories and love unconditionally ; believe me these will help you get through the low and sad times .

If you’re really lucky you’ll find it brings you closer to someone you’ve known all your life …

Your Dad 💗

x

Today’s post is actually something I wrote on Instagram earlier but felt I wanted to share on here too …

Pilates … is within my reach

I went on holiday this year to Malaga as you may well know. I spoke about it enough before I went, while I was there … and hey 6 weeks on I’m still chirping on about it!

I have to admit that while I was extremely excited to see the girls and spend a few days away with them, I was dreading the prospect of donning the old bikini.

I know, I know how silly and vain.

I should [ like I was told 101 times] just embrace what I have. Lets face it I am 47 and don’t do any exercise at all . If I’m honest I hate the thought of exercise as much as doing it. I know I’m not fat; I am  in my opinion slightly over-weight which is making me feel uncomfortable. I just didn’t feel ready to bare all, you know, the weight had been steadily creeping up along side the dreaded peri-menopause. I have back fat that I’m sure I didn’t possess at this time last year … and an extra chin. I generally felt a bit bleurgh.

I have nothing against larger people either. You do you. I just feel that I have personally looked and felt in better shape in the past when I was slimmer . Feeling the best version OF YOU , FOR YOU is what it’s all about isn’t it … no matter what your size.

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TASSIMO My Way …

I am Tracey and by my own admission I am a member of the fully fledged coffee addicts club. I love the [preferably] ‘milky and frothy with a sprinkle of chocolate’ on top variety.

I’ve tried to ween myself off it in the past. You know just the 3 cups a day … rather than my current 6 but figured why if you love something? Life is too short

So you can therefore imagine my delight when TASSIMO got in touch to see whether I’d like to try out their ”My Way’ TAS60xx Machine. Of course I said yes and waited patiently for it to arrive.

Can I just reiterate I don’t just like coffee. I LOVE coffee. I want it first thing in the morning, last thing at night and lots in between . Most importantly I want it to coffee shop standard in my own home. I want to invite my friends around and play ‘hostess with the most-est’ serve them great coffee [and cake]  so they’ll come back and see me again. 

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One year on …

I wasn’t sure whether to write this post . I fear I’m just going over the same old ground, repeating myself … but then that’s grief for you. You are constantly reliving moments , remembering and dealing with them. How you felt at the time. How you feel now. I guess that’s what it will be like forever … only maybe [ and hopefully] not so raw?

Firstly there is nothing pretty about death. It is what it is …

Death is an all-consuming sadness , it’s dark and it’s morbid. It’s feeling constantly sick and not being able to catch your breath. Death is final.

Our memories however… they don’t have to be. Our memories can be whatever we want them to be – fluffy, bright pink and vibrant just-like the person whose passed .

How’s that saying go…. “there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel”. I figure I’m still in my tunnel , bumbling around in the dark. Somewhere in the middle, scrapping away and searching for answers. I occasionally catch glimpses but mostly I’m still in darkness grabbing the light where I can.

On July 10th it will be a year … 365 days … 52 weeks … since we lost my mum. Vicious, beautiful, full of life. She was 72 and taken far too early .

Cancer is one cruel bastard.

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Oh to be a Beach Goddess, SPF’s – the usual holiday musings …

I’m going on holiday in a few weeks for a long weekend in Malaga with 4 of my best girl friends .

I don’t care that it’s only 4 nights away because I know they will be a fabulous fun-filled 4. It’s amazing what you can pack into a few days.

We’ve booked a beach house through Air BnB which looks idyllic. The views look amazing and it really is only a stones throw away from the sea. My favourite place . I swear in a previous life I was a fish … or maybe a dolphin.

There are 2 large roof terraces. I can see us chilling there with cold beers while putting the world to rights. They’ll hopefully be lots of sun, Sangria and probably not much sleep… because we’ll be dancing the night away of course. Got to love some serious cheesy euro-pop in the sunshine haven’t you !

We fly out on a Thursday with one air line and back the following Monday with another. We’ve only booked hand-luggage on the way out. We aren’t entirely sure what’s happening on the return journey … we’ve booked ‘priority something or another’ for £5. We’ve been reassured our bags will return with us! Famous last words.

I’ve therefore got to pack lightly and only take what I really need which to be honest I’m quite good at. This was something that always surprised my mum. She couldn’t quite believe how somebody so scatty in everyday life could pack like a pro! [ I never let on that I could pack , just not necessarily the right stuff! ]

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#VikingArtyParty at Chimney House, Sheffield

My boyfriend used to have an apartment at Kelham Island. It was a cool place to live as there was always so much going off. Lots of relaxed coffee bars, places to grab food. The famous Fat Cat pub and The Chimney House. We’ll not mention the parking [ it’s a nightmare]

I’ve spent many an evening [as I made my way to my boyfriends] with my face pressed sneakily against the windows of The Chimney House trying to get a glimpse inside. Looking out over the River Don it is nestled between the apartments and Kelham Island Museum. I’ve caught little snippets [through the window] and it looks fabulous.

Imagine my delight then when I got an invite to the Viking Craft Day which was to be held at The Chimney House!

I’d only get to bloody venture inside!

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Bonkers for Bingo at Mecca Bingo … #sheffieldlife

Last week my friend Sue and I went bonkers at Mecca bingo in Sheffield City Centre. Yep you heard correctly … Bonkers Bingo it’s a ‘thing’ apparently !

We had been forewarned that although it was Bingo … it would be Bingo with a difference. There would be swearing, dancing, singing, things may get a little raucous with twerking and lap dancing. We might get balls thrown at our heads.

Ohhhhh Kay …

I’m that girl who panics and dreads things like this but is usually the one found dancing along on her chair, loving it. The only exception tonight was that I wouldn’t be drinking as I was the designated driver! I really think that on nights like this it’s a good idea to be fuelled by lots of alcohol.

I advised Sue that if I won she would have to go up and get my prize while I actively encouraged her to go and get some Dutch courage in the form of another vodka and tonic !

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