I was contemplating last night.
Not that much will be changing around ours during the lock down period. I don’t have kids so there is no home schooling or need to entertain [ accept myself] . I’ll not be going to my part time job and I will miss that routine. It will just be me , him, the fur babies and these 4 walls for the foreseeable. I’ve lost my freedom, for a few weeks / months and the annual ladies weekend away this year to Lisbon. I’m gutted but I don’t think it is that big a sacrifice for what we could all potentially lose . I can’t see my dad [ or my friends ] – but I will ring him everyday. I would try to get him on the Zoom App but fear he would boil over ! Technology is not his strong point. Continue reading
At the summer disco during the last term of senior school , probably around 1986 , the school hottie Richard Bennett asked me if I’d like a ‘smooch’ with him
I can only presume I went bright red [I blushed terribly back then] made my excuses and said no. It was the first and only time we spoke.
I can still remember 30-odd years on that he was donning a pair of red suede shoes [ very cool, I liked a guy who wasn’t scared of expressing himself ] a grey suit and white shirt with no tie. He was my first crush. A crush that lasted a good number of years.
I’m in a bit of a funk … mojo less
I mean I’ve not even posted on Instagram for 4 days . Missing in my own mind !!
Thinking and looking back this happens every now and again so I’m not paying it too much attention. No pressure Tracey. I guess my mojo will return when it returns. I guess my brain is frazzled / knackered, it needs some time out… and a lie down on a beach somewhere!
In the meantime I just thought I’d pop on and say hello, give you a little bit of a life update and have a little natter.
So … you ok? Continue reading
I’m a big bundle of emotions at the moment. I make no secret of the fact I find the build up to Mothers Day hard. I don’t begrudge any mums out there their special day … it’s just hard when yours isn’t around anymore and your not a mum yourself.
I find that out of all the months of the year December is the hardest … my Birthday and Christmas falling within days of each other, spent without my Mum around just doesn’t feel the same.
While everybody is looking forward , I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Tears come from nowhere.
Don’t get me wrong I am looking forward to Christmas this year [ last year it didn’t even happen ] and I put the Christmas tree up last Sunday. Which is progress of sorts I guess
It’s not the best tree…
I found it squashed at the bottom of a box amongst a mix-match of pink, gold and purple baubles. I bodged it together and it’ll do. Its decidedly wonky and some of the branches are limp … but hey I’m not quite at the buy an all singing and dancing tree yet.
As the world gets more and more materialistic I find myself stepping away from it all ; does any of that matter in the big scheme of things? Does me having a crappy little tree make my Christmas any better , or worse than the lady across the road with her flashy , 6ft fancy tree…
No is the answer.
Christmas is much, much more than that . It’s about spirit , it is about remembering Christmas’s past and all those loved one who are no longer with us.
It is spending time with the people you love [ even those with a crappy tree.] I think it’s sadly lost in the buy, buy, buy culture.
My mum absolutely loved Christmas and I’m sure given time I will again… but just like my tree I’m a little bodged together at the moment , a work in progress 💗