Today I thought I’d share my last tribute to mum with you. A letter I wrote that was actually read out at her ‘Celebration of Life Ceremony’ last Thursday.
People don’t tend to talk about these things and believe it or not I wasn’t going to share it on here but my BF convinced me that I should.
I suppose in a way it is kind of fitting; you have shared this journey with us. You may even feel as though you knew mum from some of my stories I’ve shared.
I realise that for the past few months mum and her illness is seemingly all I have spoken about. It has in a way been like therapy for me. It’s seen me through.
While I will never ever stop talking about my beautiful mum I’m sure it will become less frequent… on here anyway.
The morning of the service itself was horrible; it rained, and rained and then some.
We woke up to no water courtesy of a burst water main , a bus jack-knived outside the house blocking our path out and then what should have been a 5 minute journey upto dads house took us over half an hour. I honestly thought we would never get there.
We did . . . JUST!
The service itself was rather beautiful and uplifting . It wasn’t religious in anyway, something we all agreed on. It’s hard to believe in ‘anything’ especially after you’ve sat and witnessed Mum suffer and deteriorate the way she did towards the end.
Music came courtesy of Richard Clayderman ‘ Ballade Pour Adeline‘ , Bruno Mars ‘Talking to the Moon‘ , Eva Cassidy ‘Over the Rainbow‘ and D-Side ‘Real World‘
There was a very fitting poem ‘She is Gone’ with lots of time to reflect.
The rain even stopped.
So here goes . . .
On July 10th at 3.25pm you left us – after a long , brave fight you eventually let go. I was there by your side with dad, somewhere I feel I’ve always been.
At that precise moment my world turned upside down…
This letter is something I never thought I’d be writing, not so soon anyway. I write most days yet today I’m struggling to find the words.
Thankyou for being the most amazing mum. THE BEST. You made it so easy to love you . I suppose that’s why it’s so extremely hard to let go, to say goodbye.
Goodbye is so final and I’m not ready. Continue reading