I’m having a ‘lost my mojo blogging’ moment.
Some days I wake up and I know exactly what I’m going to write about. I’m full of inspiration and I want to share it.
I’m thinking maybe I’ll write about Lola my beautiful cat I lost over a month ago ( some shithead knocked her over and chucked her in a bush)
Then I’m thinking shall I wing it and just ramble .
I’m winging it a lot lately. Direction … I need direction.
So let’s talk about my mood …
I’m putting it down to something that happened last week , something that totally knocked my duck off.
It doesn’t matter what or who it was and I don’t really want to name names. It was a meeting (of sorts) which went a bit pear-shaped. How I didn’t just stand there and cry is beyond-me …
I never want to find myself in that position again!
It left me thinking alsorts of negatives about myself – am I good enough? am I wasting my time ? am I playing at it?
I’m 45 and still sorting my shit out.
For some one who suffers from lack of confidence it’s not a good place to be.
Although I’m still cringing , albeit not as much, it has made me re-assess.
In future before agreeing to do something I will make sure I’m 100% comfortable with it. If I’m not then I shall say no. My instincts are usually correct so I should follow them.
As for the blogging at 45 and sorting my head out well that’s one for me to figure out.
Age has never bothered me. I’m 45 and I’m healthy. Life is really good. Ok I have a stupid condition that makes me fall down when I laugh but its also makes for a great topic at parties!
People often pull a ‘really at your age’ face when I tell them that amongst other things I blog. I figure that’s more their problem than mine. I’ve always loved writing and being an open book … what can I say – I’m a sharer.
The main reason I started blogging back in 2012 (it was a slow burner) was to show people that life didn’t end at 40 . That we still mattered and had a voice.
We were relevant.
I have however always been a worrier and it bothers me that I’m bothered about what others think of me. Even people I’ve never met.
My BF who has known me for over 20 years still can’t believe how much I’ve calmed down. He’s always commenting on the fact that as a feisty 20 year old I’d have told anybody and everybody who ever questioned me to ‘do one’
What can I say I’ve mellowed with age, I’m not as angry with the world. Anger management through my last job might also have something to do with it !
That or maybe I just can’t be arsed.
I realise I have this over-whelming need to be accepted which I am working on. I’m trying to care less what people think.
Take my Instagram account for example.
I used to post a lot of landscapes and churches. I love a good landscape and have a strange fascination with churches. On more than one occasion I found myself in a church yard at dusk, trying to capture the perfect shot while giving myself the willies as I imagined the dead arising!!
So anyway I digress…
I didn’t personally go on Instagram to look at scenery & churches myself. I headed for my favourite fashionistas and foodie posts. My all time favourite being Rosie ‘The Londoner’ who posted both.
I still added scenic views etc. but I started to post more fashion posts (and cake). I got more from it and I started to interact with like minded people . The sort that dribble over a blouse, as equally as they do a sponge finger.
I lost a lot of followers who obviously didn’t like my change of direction (or my awkward poses and dress sense) .
I felt like I’d let them down? It’s silly isn’t it. It’s just harmless pics … why had I let them down?! Why can’t you share both? People are sometimes too precious about things.
With the fashion posts came the sarcastic comments.
One lady who had been a follower since day one; who I had chatted too on numerous occasions , decided out of the blue to comment on an #ootd post. She wrote ” bravo you can get dressed all by yourself … ” or words to that effect, followed by little applauding hands. She then un-followed and blocked me.
Yep things like that hurt, but I’m working on not letting them. She could have said a hell of a lot worse things – ” hey you fat goofy pig you look awful ” for one…
I still get the odd negative comment, surprisingly a lot from old men with beer bellies, no hair or dress sense, which makes me giggle.
Which got me thinking do my outfit posts really wind people up that much ? really ?? Nobody was so rude about my church piccies…according to my BF probably because they’d nodded off out of boredom!
Ok I’m no fashion expert and I never claimed to be.
I just like what I like and wear what I feel like on a particular day. I’m not preaching or telling you what to wear. God forbid…. you’d all be dressed like bag ladies! I’m just documenting and sharing … documentating and sharing.
In ‘real life’ I’m more often than not found singing “Mollie the Moonpig ….she is a Moonpig dooooggggg “ to Mollie my much confused dog (she thinks she’s a moon pig) in some obscure pulled together outfit, over in the woods.
As for my face or as mum calls it my ‘sucking lemons’ expression… I can’t do much about that!
In conclusion …I think, I think about things too much! ….and I can’t half ramble. I do feel much better for getting that out there and out of my system though?!
I’ll be back later this week with my mojo back in tack and much more composed hopefully.
I’m planning a little fashion post, a beauty post (I’m trailing some skin care) and a post about regression.
Yes I’m getting bloody regressed on Friday!
Who was I in a previous life?
What was I ??
I’m advised by the expert that we never mix forms ; so a human can’t come back as an animal and vice versa…
Lucky that or I’d have laid money that I was a pig, an ox or such the like.
It’s mind blowing stuff and I’m not quite sure what to expect… but I’m very excited.
I will report back.
Until then ,
Princess Tracey of Paris xx (a girl can but dream)
17 thoughts on “I’ve lost that blogging feeling …”
Aww Tracey! Love this post! Your Instagram is your way of expressing yourself….please don’t change for someone else….do what makes you happy! I suspect as someone else has mentioned above you were just on the bad end of someone else’s crappy day! It sounds as though putting this post out has been very therapeutic so you’ve gained something positive from the whole experience….in a roundabout way that person has almost done you a wee favour!! You’ve had some lovely feedback here so you can bounce back!! Be kind to yourself lovely xx
Thankyou so much Michelle, I really appreciate your ( and everybody else’s) comments. You know what you are so right … For everyone who knocks or takes the mickey out of my IG / blog it only makes me more determined to make it bigger and better. I’m not changing for nobody 😀 Have a fabulous weekend xx
Darling Tracey, we all lose our blogging mojo from time to time, just like we lose (and regain) our other various mojos. I mean, I blog about style, and some days I can’t be arsed to get out of my gym gear or have a shower :-D. You write beautifully with your mojo, and you write beautifully without it, because there there is gorgeous honesty about your words either way.
You lost followers on IG simply because you changed direction in your focus. On a Venn diagram (oooo, look at me) the intersection of people who are interested in church landscapes and ALSO interested in Alexa Chung’s archive collection for M&S (for example) is a small sliver. Hence, the comment from the grouchy church-lady (likely wearing a cat-hair covered fleece and a pair of yellow crocs) who doesn’t understand our fascination with fashion. Good riddance, she’s not your tribe. But plenty of people are, and they will find you and you will find them.
Keep doing you, you multi-faceted, landscape-photographing, fashionista blogger!
Thankyou so much for your message, it really made me smile. A lot.
I find people can be ( and are) rude and even worse they hide behind their phones . But hey ho it takes all sorts. Onwards and upwards, with s big smile Have a fabulous weekend, Tracey xxx
People can be such arseholes, mainly on the internet. I always think though, if someone leaves a comment like that maybe they’re having the shittest of days, feel crap about themselves and your post catches them at exactly the wrong moment and they lash out – at someone they don’t know, to try and make themselves feel better. Either that or they’re just plain jealous because you’re gorgeous and clearly having fun doing a cool blog which people really like and that pisses them off. In which case f*** ’em. Just put up MORE pics of churches a
nd MORE lovely pics of you and what you’re wearing. We all enjoy them, so anyone else can do one, quite frankly. xx
Haha that made me smile. I like your kick ass attitude Mrs ! I think people find it easy to hide behind their phones. I always think if you’ve nothing nice to say then don’t say it. Hey ho it takes all sorts . The grubby old men that tell me “I scrub up quite well” are the funniest 😆 have a lovely day and thanks for taking the time to comment , Tracey xx
I wish I could write like you with my mojo, let alone without! You are wonderful Tracey, just keep on doing what you do. Social media can be so wonderful but also so cruel. Just this week 2 people I used to work with and one old friend unfollowed me. I was really taken aback and it made me think that maybe I take IG too seriously and should take a break. But then I decided that I shouldn’t let their actions make me quit something I really enjoy. Okay, now I’m rambling; point is: keep posting, don’t stop, carry on 😉 xx Carin
Don’t you dare leave Mrs !! I love your IG account . Your stylish and you make me smile. Them unfollowing you is more to do with them than you and is their loss. I’ve found people can be very strange.
Keep doing what your doing you fabulous lady and Thankyou for taking the time to comment , Tracey xx
Tracy I love your blog and will continue reading no matter what you write about you have the ability to make a light heart out of any subject. I’ve got to agree about the comment about acceptance and im always looking for it too. It must be us women we are sensitive souls. Please write about what you like and enjoy and sod everyone else. The blog is your baby not theirs
That’s so lovely to say . I try and approach everything with a little humour , I like to make people smile.
Nothing will be changing this end and I shall no doubt continue with my rambling posts! Tonight’s events should make (hopefully) for some interesting reading.
Yeahhhh look forward to reading …I’m at a friends wedding so the prosecco will be free flowing cheers lovely xxx
Ah bless you, I’m the exact same about worrying too much what others think… blogging and social media can magnify that sometimes and feel a bit overwhelming. There are plenty of us in our 40s who want to read blogs like yours and see your gorgeous style pics, so keep that lovely chin up. xx
Awww Thankyou Nic, I’ve always been a terrible worrier . Mum says I’m like her sister ( who had a nervous breakdown – great 😮 )
I’m feeling much better today … I think writing it down helped and it made my BF laugh .
Have a lovely day and thanks for taking the time to comment xx
Oh Tracey you do make me larffff!!!!! You sound so much like me as I’ve said on previous occasions, I’m the worlds biggest worrier, about absolutely everything!! I’ve lost my mojo too at the mo,and at nearly 47 I often wonder why the hell anyone would be bothered to read my blog and think it’s a worthless pastime. Anyways, you are fabulous darling, I love your blog and I’d rather see you sucking on lemons on Insta than churches, although I REALLY do like churches and landscapes too, honest, I’m partial to posting the odd one myself 🙂
Sending positive mojo vibes!
We do sound very similar. I’m sure we will both get out mojo back. I felt better after penning this post actually.
It’s had a nice response so it must have resonated with a few of us. I read your blog Mrs , not always straight away but your on my reading list.
As long as somebody is reading then I’m happy . Have s lovely day … I’m off to photograph a church !!! Hee hee xx
If this is you without your mojo…! 😂 I loved reading that. Vx
Thankyou Vicki , I’m glad you enjoyed it. Have a lovely day xx