Kats Kitchen with Pete Hewitt

As 46 year olds go I’m a bit crap.

I don’t adult very well.

When I was approached by BBC Radio Sheffield earlier this week to see if I’d like to take part in ‘Kats kitchen’ the first thing I did was think of every reason not too.

Don’t get me wrong I wanted to do it and I was chuffed we’d even been asked , but something inside me always rears its ugly head and tells me I’m not good enough. That I’ll mess up.

Lack of confidence has always held me back, something I’ve spoken about on here on numerous occasions and that drives my father and BF crazzzzy

I did however make a conscious decision at the beginning of this year that all that would stop in 2017.

This is the year I push myself out of my comfort zone.

Following a pet talk with the BF who told me to stop being pathetic, while also informing me that if I didn’t do it he’d be extremely disappointed; I said that yes we’d love to do it.

Can’t be disappointing the Mr could I… or more importantly myself.. and pathetic? How dare he?!

To be honest it’s not as though we had to do much. Sit and watch a professional chef cook several dishes and taste the goodies. Sounds like chuffing heaven…

There would however be some chit-chat with myself and Sue my ‘Ladies who Lunch’ companion which would involve speaking LIVE on radio, which is what made me a little anxious. Continue reading

Brows by Browmasters #givingback

As you may or may not be aware I had my eyebrows tattooed a few years ago.

This was the last resort after being told by several brow specialists that there wasn’t much hair to work with. Basically there was nothing to dye or shape. Poor me.

Every morning I’d sit and draw on my brows. It was time-consuming but without my ‘brows on’ I looked, or rather I felt like I had a potato for a head.

I was always conscious of not getting them wet, or getting too sweaty as they might run off. Vain maybe but it’s also about confidence and without said brows I didn’t feel confident at all.

To cut a long story short I was introduced to Wendy Mordue (my brow saviour) who at the time worked for HD Brows and the rest as they say is history.

I have written several posts before which you can read // HERE // HERE but basically here’s what I looked like after the very first session many moons ago…

All you really need to know is you are in very safe hands .  Continue reading

Why do you blog? Let me tell you a story …

It’s a question I’m often asked… while looking at me like I have 3 heads and giving me the haven’t you got better things to do at YOUR AGE look.

Basically I adore  writing.

I always have.

It’s my creative outlet.

There’s no age limit to  writing. My grandma wrote well into her 80’s.

I kept diaries from about 8 years old until the age of around 17. Not one liner per day diaries  … we are talking of epic proportions.

In-depth A5 pages full of my tiny teenage mixed-up scribbles.

I recently stumbled across a pile of them while clearing the loft. I started to read one of the said diaries but due to the amount of cringing I was doing I had to stop… One day when I’m old and grey maybe I’ll try again..

I’ve always been a story-teller and I do believe that everybody has a story to tell.

Something that contributes BUT that I rarely talk about … in fact very few people know…I was bullied at school. Continue reading

I’ve lost that blogging feeling …

I’m having a ‘lost my mojo blogging’ moment.

It happens.

Some days I wake up and I know exactly what I’m going to write about. I’m full of inspiration and I want to share it.

Not today.

I’m thinking maybe I’ll write about Lola my beautiful cat I lost over a month ago ( some shithead knocked her over and chucked her in a bush)

Too depressing.

Then I’m thinking shall I wing it and just ramble .

I’m winging it a lot lately. Direction … I need direction.

So let’s talk about my mood … Continue reading

NFD – My day as ‘Mrs Bailey’…

Dad – “Can you take a bloody photo, or not?” ( rolls eyes and gives me that look)
Me – “Of course I can…but
Dad – “No buts,  stop being silly.  You don’t suddenly loose your ability just because your put on the spot. You’ve always been the same.”

He’s got a point and yes I have always been the same…

Lack of confidence has played a big part in the things I should have done,  but didn’t ! To this date I still regret not following up a potential position / interview as a weather girl for the local TV station!

I feel like I’ve been having this  same conversation with dad for the past 40 years.

Confidence… It’s a funny old thing; one I don’t possess a lot of though admittedly I’m a hell of a lot better than I used to be.

I drive my father mad.

So what triggered my panic off this time?

Just a simple little text from the bride to be asking whether I would step in and take some wedding pics. This was received just as I was about to set off for her wedding! No biggy there then; the ‘proper’ photographer had called in sick.

I bundled my numerous second-hand cameras, chargers and leads into my bag, just as mum and dad pulled into my driveway to pick me up and drop me off.

I looked like the ‘bag lady’ of the photography world with everything shoved in a Boss shopping bag.- that didn’t match my outfit. The battery on my Olympus camera ( fondly referred too as my big camera) was being held in with a piece of manky cello-tape, all my lens covers appeared to have disappeared and the wasn’t a camera case in sight…

The saving grace… I was wearing a beautiful lace dress by Ted Baker, and my hair didn’t look like a mushroom.

I sat in the back of the car for the 40 minute journey from mine to Fischers at Baslow letting self-doubt try and move in. 

Yes, I felt nervous but after a quick pet talk from dad, a king size Yorkie and a large coffee, I was feeling decidedly excited.

So what if I only got one decent shot ; it would be one shot more than they would have got had I not said yes. It was an honour that they felt I could do it and as I wasn’t taking any payment there really was no pressure … these days everybody has a mobile and would be taking pics…

Plus I told myself… You can do this! I may not be James Bailey but I can take a decent piccy, even if I say so myself.

The moral of my little tale?

Sometimes we need to be chucked in at the deep-end, otherwise we may never jump…we might doggy paddle for a while before we find our stroke but by golly do we feel fabulous when we do.

I had a ball.

Creating beautiful images is something I love and try to do on a daily basis. 

Capturing a special day, a special moment is extremely precious (especially when it’s one of you best friends) after-all it’s not something you do every day.

Would I do it again?

I’m far from being anywhere near a professional, I need loads more practice, a new camera with several lenses but… you just try and stop me!

image

My friend is extremely private and therefore they’ll be no pics unfortunately, just some arty farty ones I took.

I’ll ask her nicely when she gets back off her Honeymoon if I can post any pics of the happy couple but until then here’s some cake and champagne.

Let me know what you think to my efforts? Do you suffer from lack of confidence and how do you conquer it? I’d love to hear.

Until next time, Tracey x.

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