Letter to my 20-year-old self…

In less than a month I’m 45. Yes forty flipping five years old. December 15th if your remotely interested. Cards are most welcome (as is alcohol…and chocolate)

Which got me thinking…

In 5 years I will (hopefully) hit the big milestone that is 50. How the bloody hell did that happen, it only seems 2 minutes ago that I was celebrating my 21st?!

In another 45 years I’ll be 90. I know, it’s a long way off but it’s how my mind works!

I also thought about all the experiences I’d gone through and what I had learnt (if anything) during my 45 years on the planet? What advice would I give my 20-year-old self…

Firstly, the perfect pinky beige lipstick does not exist. I repeat it does not exist. (Saying that I do have high hopes for a Charlotte Tilbury one I’ve recently spotted.)

Do not pick spots. Ever.

Dance at every given opportunity. It is good for the soul. That odd lady who dances when songs come on in (clothes) shops… Yep it’s me.

Your hair will never do what you want on a night out. It will however look fabulous when you pin it back randomly to walk the chuffing dog…in the rain.

Trust your instincts… In my experience they are usually spot on.

Don’t ever stop dreaming, but be realistic some dreams are just that.

For example I will probably never meet Jason Orange (dam) let alone marry him (double dam) Yes I did at one point believe that I would meet and do just that. (Seriously) Every time we visited Manchester I hoped and prayed we’d bump into him! We never did (triple dam). He’s allegedly gay anyway ( dam, dam, dam) and yes… I am officially a loser.

Never ever date a tight guy. Repeat after me NEVER! No matter how kind, good-looking and sincere they appear to be on the surface, remember tightness is an awful trait.

You should never have to do all the driving, run around after him, have to pay for everything, basically fall for the bullshit. You will end up resenting him and yourself even more so for being such a mug. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been that mug.

When they ask to borrow money… back away slowly and then run for the hills. Don’t look back, you had a lucky escape. One day I will tell you about ‘Prawn Man’…this story still makes me chuckle to this day. I’m afraid if I share it here I WILL go to hell.

Take every opportunity you are given. Promise me, every single one.

I still struggle with confidence but I was awfully shy and had zero confidence in my early 20’s. I avoided opportunities and made every excuse under the sun as to why something wouldn’t work out. I was basically scared. Scared of being a failure, of not living up to expectations . It’s silly really. Unless you try how would you ever know? I could be speaking to you now as a ‘former (local news) weather girl’… Only I never followed it up, never made that blinking phone call. It’s haunted me for years. Just one of many wasted opportunities…

Say yes more than no… unless it’s something dodgy!! But don’t ever feel obliged.

You really DON’T need a man to feel complete, your perfectly ok on your own. Always remember your fierce and your independent. If you find a fella you like then that’s great. If you don’t, then that’s great too.

Be what people don’t expect. Surprise them, be different but always be true to yourself .

Have an opinion but don’t be opinionated.

It’s a harsh reality but bad things do happen to good people. Life isn’t always fair. People will let you down. People will disappoint you. People will get sick and people die. That is why it’s so important to grab happiness wherever you can find it and surround yourself with fabulous, positive people. If you have a tight circle of friends, count yourself lucky.

I’m so very, very lucky. I have a set of amazing friends.

I’ve known my oldest friend for over 40 years. We went through school together, first boyfriends, marriages and subsequent divorces . We’ve had some amazing holidays and lots of drunken night’s out. She’s a diamond (as are all my mates). I’m honoured to be her daughter’s God Mother. (makes me feel ancient )

I have the kind of friend’s who would drop everything, turn up with a smile, wise words, laughter and wine just when you thought your world was about to fall apart.

I have a small but wonderfully precious family and a fella I adore.

Oh yes, believe me I’ve kissed one hell of ALOT of frogs. I’ve had my heart-broken on numerous occasions. I’ve been used. I’ve been dumped and I’ve done the dumping. (I’m not sure which one was worse!)

Rejection is never nice and at the time it may feel like the bottoms just fell out of your world. Believe me it hasn’t. The relationship didn’t work out for a reason and that reason might be the next person who walks into your life.

Take positives from negatives, learn and move on.

To bigger and better things…

I did.

I hope you’ll raise a glass with me on the 15th and toast this amazing ride they call life. Mine has been one hell of a trip and you know what I wouldn’t change a thing…

Well maybe I would have made that phone call.

Until next time, Tracey x

8 thoughts on “Letter to my 20-year-old self…

  1. Stephanie Canham says:

    Loved reading through this Tracey. I think a lot of it applies to many of us in some way. I was so shy and un-confident we I was in my twenties too. I’m 46 now and I’m still shy to a degree but as I’ve gotten older it’s got so much better and I’ve learnt that we have to grab opportunities when they come along. Take blogging events for instance, I’ve been to a few but was so nervous when I first started, in fact nearly cancelled several times as my thoughts were that everyone else was better than me! I’m glad I got over the nerves and the shyness as they’ve all been great and took me out of my cosy comfort zone!

    • lizandtracey says:

      Thanks Steph,
      I’ve never been to a blog meet, ever! Not that I’ve been invited but I would be so nervous. Silly isn’t it? I’ve been to some organised events at Harvey Nicks but not blog events as such, but really enjoyed them. It’s just making that push. I’m going to try this year and do things that scare me. I’m actually doing a ‘mud run’ for breast cancer research in May. The thought if that terrifies me. Thanks for popping over and your comments, Tracey x

  2. Marguerite says:

    Love it! I’m 11 days younger than you so I’m facing 45 next month too. I wouldn’t go back to my younger years though – much happier where I am now. Wiser, stronger, happier.

    • lizandtracey says:

      Thank you so very much Michelle, such a lovely thing to say.
      I still can’t believe I’m 45 this year. Life just keeps getting better though so no complaints here.
      Writing this was also very therapeutic. Tracey xx

    • lizandtracey says:

      Thank you so very much Michelle, such a lovely thing to say.
      I still can’t believe I’m 45 this year. Life just keeps getting better though so no complaints here.
      Writing this was also very therapeutic. Tracey xx

  3. Michelle says:

    Wishing you the best birthday yet Tracey….I will certainly be raising a glass for you on the 15th! You are fabulous and everything you’ve been through good and bad has made you you! Have a good one lovely! :0) xx

    • lizandtracey says:

      Thank you so very much Michelle, such a lovely thing to say.
      I still can’t believe I’m 45 this year. Life just keeps getting better though so no complaints here.
      Writing this was also very therapeutic. Tracey xx

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