L I F E | grief diaries

July … what does it mean to you ?

For me it’s the start of a long hot summer [hopefully] alfresco ‘everything’ in the garden , weekends away, my best friends birthday.

It is also a painful reminder that in just a few days time, 2 years ago , my mum and best friend died.

July 10th at 3.40pm in palliative care with Dad & I sat by her bedside.

I’ll not lie I’m in a weird-ass mood

Continue reading

LIFE | 2 minute musings

“The Church is not an automobile showroom – a place to put ourselves on display so that others can admire our spirituality, capacity, or prosperity. It  is more like a service center, where vehicles in need of repair come for maintenance and rehabilitation ” Dieter F Utchtdorf

Every time I venture to a new place one of the first things I do is seek out the local church

It’s something I’ve always done … ever since I was a little kid with dirty finger nails and scuffed knees . It was my thing.

I was always in awe of their grandeur and beauty. I explored churches and marked toilets out of 10. Anything that scored under a 7 and my mum would steer clear. I guess I came in useful for somethings Continue reading

LIFE | a little update & finding my happy

Before mum died … seems like a life-time away, it also feels like yesterday.

Before mum died … I seemingly didn’t have a care in the world. I probably did but It just felt like I laughed constantly [especially with my mum] my world was good.

I was the girl up for anything. If you told me I couldn’t or shouldn’t do it then you can guarantee I would probably try . I’d then run back to my mum and tell her all-about it. She’d shake her head while we sat laughing uncontrollably. I loved that. I loved sharing stuff with her. She would pretend to be shocked [at some things ] but believe me my mum was a little minx, an instigator and terribly encouragable.

For example my mum found this story particularly funny … [and ‘Tracey does Kavos‘ which despite being hilarious & very, very innocent I promised I’d never talk about .My mum was worried people would get the wrong impression . If I ever write my memoirs it’ll be in there for sure…] Continue reading

LIFE – Letters from Mum

AD | gift only

LETTERS FROM MUM

“I trace the line of each letter with my finger…

Absorbing every single word

I Imagine your face as you wrote each one; no doubt giggling at your own jokes

I smile … but at the same time a wave of heavy, sadness engulfs me and I can’t stop the tears.

Happy tears, sad tears , innocent tears for a time when I naively thought you’d be around forever .

I smell the paper; I’m disappointed that it doesn’t smell of you … year’s stored safely away in a Cigarette box has put pay to that.

I hold the letters against my heart and imagine that you are holding me

A part of you is etched on those precious pieces of paper. Conversations that can’t be erased . Words forever embedded in my heart “

I wrote this poem after I was approached by the lovely Emma from Inscripture to see whether I would like to collaborate with them and choose a piece of their beautiful jewellery.

After looking into the company I couldn’t say no.

It’s no ordinary jewellery … they take special words from letters, cards etc and engrave them onto jewellery –  ‘You live the moments, we create the memories’

It is a beautiful concept and something that would make a special keepsake / gift.

Continue reading