Nope I can’t remember it either…

A time where you could eat your food straight away. Sip your coffee as it arrives. Hot . All just a fond memory.

My long suffering BF knows better than to tuck in straight away. I need the obligatory food / drink shot first, complete with a re-arranged pretty looking table. You know just so the object of desire [cake / sausage / coffee] looks picture perfect ?

It goes something along these lines …

Oh no, no, no… that spoon doesn’t look at all right there [moves slightly to one side] Throws menu on floor [much to annoyance of waiter] it was getting in the way. Moves the candle, muttering that it would look so much better over there… where it would highlight the corner of the pie crust and set off the green in the peas to a T !

I have become ridiculous!

I must be a complete pain in the ass as the majority of my friends often question whether it’s ok to eat yet too?! I’m not your mother just blinking eat.

Ha ha good old IG…

Only on IG do I record my self singing. It would never appear on Facebook… God forbid somebody I actually know might see it...plus my mums already concerned I’m losing the plot.

I say singing very lightly, screeching would be more accurate. I sing and the local dogs come a running. I then stick it out there for a load of strangers to pass judgement on. IG brings out my crazy!

I’m actually fairly shy, though I probably come across as anything but. Affected maybe? Disillusioned, bit of a fruitcake?

I’m surprised I don’t get more hate mail to be honest, but for the most people are really lovely. They probably feel sorry for the ‘poor old bird’, trying to be cool, but who more often than not makes herself look like a prize pudding in the process.

And so it was christened – Car karaoke with Tracey [ I’m sure James Corden pinched the idea from me] I did my first video a couple of years ago. At one point it was a weekly occurrence; I was even getting song requests and Happy Birthday messages were the norm ! Honest.

The fun all stopped however when I got a few ‘angry’ comments about the dangers of singing, filming yourself and driving … and of course they were right!

I don’t like negativity, it pissed me off slightly [go bloody rain on somebody else’s parade] but I knew they were right. I was also scared to death that the police would turn up at my doorstep…playing the video while hand-cuffing me and arresting me for dangerous driving…

I did a few ‘static sing a longs’ afterwards but it never felt the same . I also got caught once in Morrison’s car park by a bemused family in the next car, who I’d not seen until I’d got into full swing.

Yep embarrassing.

And so it was the Karaoke was replaced with ‘sucking on a lemon face’, a variation on the ‘duck face’.

Yes, you guessed it the good old selfie! Controversial – is it fun or is it just vanity? The love to hate selfies.

TBH my mum doesn’t get selfies.

Mum – “why don’t you just ask somebody to take your photo?“

Me – “you don’t understand”

Mum – “Why can’t you just smile like you used too? You look lovely when you smile”

Me – “I don’t like my teeth, I look goofy, all teeth and chipmunk cheeks”

Mum – ” Don’t talk silly, you have lovely teeth. You look like your sucking a lemon in this pic… It doesn’t look like you – What ever’s wrong with your mouth?? You look affected”

I can’t even begin to explain to her the power of a # !

Some days I do feel vain and on others I couldn’t really give a rats arse.

Don’t like it, don’t look.

That Simple.

It’s just my more often than not filtered [I favour Valencia] face…

I try not to think about it too much. [Sometimes I do think about too much.]

I mean in the big scheme of things there are far more important things to worry about…[like how to photograph this fruit salad in its best light]

Put it this way… if you lived with me you’d see this face 24/7, unfiltered. I’d count yourself lucky.

As well as posting photos to my gallery [I like to pretend that I work for a magazine] I am slightly obsessed with certain accounts…

I’ve recently discovered two beautiful French ladies @carolinereceveurlucas the founder of #wandertea. She is absolutely stunning…

Look at her…

and @noholita

Both gorgeous creatures!

While I am most definitely straight, these girls ooze style and sexuality.

They are my current lady crushes.

I basically want to be them – their hair, their clothes, their lives…the way they look effortlessly cool in their photos. It’s enough to make you want to go ‘oh la la’

On my #ootd pics I look bloody awkward. Odd, wooden even with my pretend not to be looking, but I am looking look. My cheesy, toothy grin complete with I’m a little teapot arm.

Hampered.

Without IG I would never have discovered the wonderful skin guru @carolinehirons … What she doesn’t know about skin isn’t worth knowing. She’s also funny. I love funny.

Or the stunningly beautiful @alexsteinheir [beauty editor of Glamour] who is truly the Queen of selfies. Never a bad one!

She’s the reason I’m growing out my fringe. I love her hair.

I couldn’t live without…[that’s maybe a bit dramatic] … I could, but Sundays would be rather dull without her ‘sunday facial’ posts.

She also replies to your questions [yes I admit I always get a bit giddy when she does]

Yep one lovely lady.
I’m slightly obsessed with clothes and love a good fashion / style post…

These lovely ladies galleries are all worth a look and are accounts I check regularly for inspiration :

@schoolrunmum @retrochicmama @myfashionable40s @styling_matters @rosielondoner [her legs should have an instagram account of their own!] @fashionmumof40

There are more, lots more… but if I listed them all we’d be here a while.

I’ve discovered some fabulous brands… to name a few @black_and_sigi for fabulous contemporary jewellery @yosauk for jewellery and lovely accessories Zaful for stylish but cheap as chips clothing.

Most importantly I’ve made and actually met some lovely people in ‘real’ life. Yes I’ve touched them. Skin and bones. Breathing. Real.

They tend to be smaller than I imagined and hearing their voice / accent is always a highlight.

People I would never have met had it not have been for IG.

So to conclude the world of IG is a funny ole place … [where would I be without #quoteoftheday?]

A place where a picture of a bashed up banana could get millions of likes. Kim Kardashian could post a picture of her poo and again it would hit triple figures.

Meanwhile great photography gets little or no likes…

Sometimes it can feel like a popularity contest [one where your not very popular] but again I try not to think about it too much.

Life’s too short, there’s songs to be sung and coffees to capture…

Yep that’s IG for you,

Warts and all…

And don’t you just love it?!

Until next time, Tracey x

You can find me at – @the_traceydiaries I’m always looking for new accounts to follow. Can you recommend any?