LIFE | the walk …

We walk . I talk mostly . Mollie annoyingly stops every 2 seconds to sniff anything and everything [mainly other dogs bums] and my dad asks me for the 16th time “you have got poo bags haven’t you?”

Have I got poo bags?

I’m queen bloody poo bag

Today they are strategically stuck in the top of my pants. The jacket and trousers I’m wearing have no pockets , the bags are easily accessible via the top of my leggings. I show dad the corner of one of the them popping out . He just gives me ‘that’ look and shakes his head. Yes dad I have poo bags.

In-between the ‘chit-chat’ I talk about mum in an attempt to get him to open up more. Sometimes it’s awkward; I sense it makes him uncomfortable. Dad gets teary and quickly changes the subject … but today it’s somehow ok .

He tells me it’s their 51st wedding anniversary in a few weeks and we reminisce for a while. I love talking about mum. This pleases me.

Over the past months I’ve learnt to become ‘friends’ with my grief. That may sound ridiculous but for as long as I am around I never want to forget a thing about my mum . I want to keep her alive; to talk about her, remember her … that’s normal behaviour right?

I guess I can’t have one without the other so I welcome my emotions wholeheartedly ; I figure the only way to move forward is to let them wash over me any which way they choose – come and go as they please so to say .Be that in the way of tears , laughter or everything in-between.

I’ve found nobody talks about death ; how to deal with losing a parent . It’s a conversation nobody wants , so you muggle through the best you can. In the dark without a torch.

Grief has no pattern. It hits you at unexpected times and places . It can be short and quick – a fleeting memory that strikes you down [ remember Portuguese tarts in Sainsbury’s ] Sometimes it lingers and your stuck on an emotional roller-coaster for however long that ride decides to last.

I guess grief will become my norm. Just like breathing, eating and sleeping it will become routine…not always so raw, but always there bubbling underneath the surface.

So please bear with me I am still ‘healing and adjusting’ … at the same time please don’t ever tell me to get over my grief because that would be like saying get over your mum …

I pondered over these thoughts today with dad . He is used to me , I was a ‘deep’ child. I didn’t think I was making much sense to be honest , but he nodded his head in agreement, his eyes glazed over and he said

“If there’s one thing I’ll never forget Tracey it’s your mum … never ever … how could I ?…”

[ I smile and we carry on walking in silence for a few seconds]

“Now you did say you had poo bags didn’t you ?”

x

Walking back to happiness  …

I’ve rediscovered my love for walking and seen as I’ve stated several times [ on here] that this is the year I’m getting fit it couldn’t have come at a better time.

I’ve been  heading for Damflask Reservoir which can be found at Lower Bradfield, conveniently only a 5 minute drive from mine.

A little history if I may …

Damflask reservoir was constructed in 1867. It has a capacity of 1,123 million gallons and a maximum depth of 88 feet. [ though it’s very low at the moment ] Today it is also used by Sheffield rowing and sailing club and for fishing. Good trout I here.

It’s beautiful,my thinking place…  Continue reading

Walk . Move . Live with Vionic Shoes

Hello … how you’ve been? Today it’s a funny one. I’m talking about feet. Yep.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before but if you didn’t know I’ve got a dodgy right foot…[amongst other ailments]

I used to be Office Manager at a large Design & Build company, that was until I was made redundant after 14 years long service [s**t heads]

I used to love getting dressed for work. I was the one who more often than not  could be found tottering around in pencil skirts, power jacket & high heels. All the gear , no idea!

I was in the car-park one day when something [I honestly can’t remember what] made me laugh. I was wearing my usual sky-scrapers, lost my footing something that occurs a lot due to my cataplexy and my left leg gave way.

Oh oh … Continue reading

Hidden Gems of Sheffield …

Lots of things make me happy – chocolate, cake and coffee. Friendship , travel and lush landscapes.

On Friday I met up with my friend Sue. I needed the dress (I’m intending to wear to the charity masked ball this weekend) altering. I adore it however it’s slightly too big on the shoulders and stretched to its limit around my bum!

Visible panty line …it’s so tight its more like visible intestines!

So to cut a long story short Sue’s friend has a ladies clothes shop on Abbeydale Road that also offers an alteration service. We popped in, dropped said dress off and then headed a few doors down for a coffee.

Abbeydale Road is a haven for coffee shops and restaurants. Its fast becoming one of my favourite places in Sheffield for its diversity.

Today’s coffee shop offering came in the shape of ‘Tea with Percie’ 557 Abbeydale Road, Sheffield a place I had never visited before but was keen to try.

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Small, with a laid-back atmosphere . Its tastefully decorated with a mix-match of furniture , grey hues and funky art-work/ decorations.

We decided to grab a bite to eat as well as a beverage. Continue reading

#stridingtogether – Nightstrider 10k walk through Sheffield City Centre for St Lukes Hospice

wpid-dsc_2889-01.jpegSaturday night in Sheffield City Center saw just over 1000 walkers/fundraisers gather in Tudor Square to take part in the first Nightstrider to raise funds for St Luke’s Hospice.

If you are not familiar with St Luke’s it is a  Hospice that provides Sheffield people who have life-limiting illness the best possible quality of life for their last few months / weeks / days. Its free of charge and in order to keep going they have to raise 5.6 million pounds a year.

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Last week the Forest, this week the Lakes…

I’ve never been to the Lake District and had it not been for the Mr I may never have done.

Following our week spent in a log cabin in Keldy Forest, North Yorkshire he surprised me by booking  a further week away to rest and recuperate.

Truth be known I hadn’t had the best nights sleep in the forest. I was mostly spooked. Forests are beautiful but they also give me the ibby jibbys; I’ve never been the same  since I watched Evil Dead!

When darkness descended , it blinking descended. It was pitch black outside and my imagination ran amok as I looked into the trees and they (or something )  appeared to look back!.

The hot tub was amazing to start with but the novelty soon wore off, as did the Mr’s  jokes about the man sat watching me from the trees in a ski mask!

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(Above) Home last week…

So here I am sat in ‘Biskey Dip’ a beautiful, cosy yet ultra modern cottage In the heart of Bowness -On- Windermere.

It’s not the slightest bit scary and they have street lighting . Yay! which by the way we could do with in the bathroom. The only negative I have with the cottage is the appalling bathroom lighting. It’s bad. O.K and there’s some pretty odd people walking about but it makes for great people watching from any of the numerous coffee bars scattered up and down the main high street.

The Mr has done good.

It really is ‘home from home’ only it’s a dam sight nicer than mine. . . and it’s ours for a whole week.

It was definitely worth the 2 hour drive from Sheffield. I more or less got home from the forest, had a wee, grabbed a drink, kissed and cuddled my cats, Frankie and Lola (I missed them) before jumping back in the car en-route to Cumbria..

The Mr’s presently got his head buried in a laptop as he has a bit of work to complete. There’s no rest for the wicked! so I’m going to share a few pics with you.

Here’s the lovely cottage itself.

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Mollie loves the garden…

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We are planning to explore the area around Windermere over the next week, but what we have seen so far has been very beautiful…even in the rain!

England really is stunning in places and I’m a sucker for a nice view. The Mr laughs at me for pointing out the obvious. ‘Oh look its so  beautiful ‘ seems to be  coming out of my mouth on replay.

The weather has been very temperamental . Glorious sunshine one minute, followed by a good drenching the next. If you happen to bump into me while I’m here please excuse the hair!

While my skin, thankfully, is benefitting from all the fresh air, my hair however  has turned into a mass of uncontrollable frizz.! Add to my misery the fact that my hairdresser went scissor happy just before the hols and has cut my fringe stupidly short. I look like a simpleton!

Here’s a little taster to wet your appetite (of the scenery not my hair!) Delicious if a little eerie at times. . .

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I’m sure they’ll be loads more pictures and if your lucky (or rather unlucky) maybe a piccy of my hair! If nothing else you can have a giggle at my expense.

Until next time from the glorious lakes, Tracey x

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”Walkies…” a little fashion, lots of flowers and a dog

I have a new friend. She’s got 4 chunky legs, her fur is chocolate brown ( the exact colour I want my hair) She’s friendly, with sad eyes and tends to slather and dribble when she gets excited . Yes, you’ve guessed it my new friend is a lovely little Labrador dog. We’ve been taking a-lot of walks together. I’m getting lots of fresh air and my skin is benefiting from big doses of vitamin D. M is getting much needed exercise and letting off steam; she has so much energy! We chat… well I say chat. I talk and she looks at me quizzically, wagging her tail, then runs off to find a stick. We are quite literally bonding over poo bags among the bluebells!

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If I’m honest I’m more of a cat lady myself but I’ve taken this little lady to my heart. She’s adorable… even when she’s dribbling.

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