L O C K D O W N | diaries day 15

Life as we know it has changed. 2020 the year we thought would be A M A Z I N G has turned into somewhat of a giant turnip!

Call it what you want … but Covid19 is not going anywhere fast.

Curse it for ruining your plans. I did yesterday . I know it’s very selfish, but I’m not a saint. I am human. I sat with a face like a Smacked Arse , consoling myself with a very large Gin after finding out our flights to Lisbon had been cancelled. Im fully onboard and totally understand why … but I don’t have to be happy about it. I guess Lisbon isn’t going anywhere and I’m sure I’ll appreciate her all the more when I eventually visit.

It’s a leveller – rich , poor, indifferent ,whatever race or gender – as the high school reunion kids sang “we are all in this together.”

Days roll into more days. Wednesday feels like Sunday. Weekends don’t feel special. Plans are cancelled that can’t be rearranged . I’ve found I’m having vivid dreams mainly about my Mum. Perhaps the quiet time is niggling at feelings I’ve tried to suppress ?

I find myself meandering around the house aimlessly thinking I really should be doing something but not quite sure what that is? Afternoon coffee has been substituted with Afternoon Gin. I seemingly snack every half an hour . I try to convince myself I should exercise to counterattack gaining weight but find I don’t have time? How’s that even possible?? If there’s one thing I do currently have – it’s time.

There’s a quiet , sometimes eerie feel to the streets. If a zombie walked past you know what … I doubt I’d bat an eyelid. I hope to wake up tomorrow like Pam Ewing did in Dallas and realise it’s been one awful dream [ Bobby in my shower would be a nice added bonus ]

Nature seems to be thriving. Skies look bluer, clouds whiter …. fluffier even and I swear the birds are singing louder … or perhaps it’s because I’m looking at them with different eyes / mindset . I have always appreciated my daily walks with Mollie but even I – ‘Tracey at one with nature, prize tree hugger’ has found a new appreciation for her surroundings.

Whatever the next few weeks / months hold is anybody’s guess. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. “We are living in Unprecedented times.”

What I do know is that I have not felt Community spirit like it is now for a long, long time. When it comes down to it people are good eggs. Ok there are a few bad ones [ that’s always the case ] but generally the good far outweigh the bad.

If nothing else comes from Covid 19 – that’s reassuring to know

Tracey x

4 thoughts on “L O C K D O W N | diaries day 15

  1. Alison says:

    Yes, I felt browned off today. Trying to shake it off. We can’t help how we feel. My mum died a year ago yesterday which may explain it. Couldn’t have the family meet up and toast her like I thought we would.

    • lizandtracey says:

      Sorry for the late reply ! So sorry to hear about your mum too. Having lost mine 3 years ago I feel you and your pain . Hopefully when this is all over you can have a double whammy toast to her and like I always say she is watching over you x

    • lizandtracey says:

      Thank you for popping across , reading & commenting.
      I think it’s good to document how we feel so people know it’s normal; that others have similar feelings . Very strange times but hopefully it will be over by the end of the year and we can start living again x

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