L E T S T A L K | because you are worth it

If you weren’t aware I was invited by M.A.C as part of my Regional Brand Ambassador role [which ends this month] to London this weekend to attend London Fashion Week ; backstage access and to witness a few shows. 

It is a BIG thing for me. I might not post hauls of clothes every day or be the most fashion savvy amongst us but I adore the creative side of the industry and the make-up … what can I say I’m in bloody heaven.
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This isn’t a pity party post but maybe my following words will resonate and if you are feeling ‘similar’ they will hopefully make you feel less alone. 
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So firstly . . . I’m not in London every weekend and I don’t get invited to many events  [ I used too but after turning down a boat lot of invitations – the invitations stopped because that’s how it rolls I guess. In for a penny, in for a pound ]
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Its more or less always just me,myself and I. I have no ‘clique’ around me. I’m forever walking into a room full of strangers … anxious ; feeling more like 14 than 49.
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To the few people who acknowledged and wished me luck , thankyou . I find people often spout on about women supporting women but a lot of it is hot air said to make certain people look or feel like they are saying the right thing . Or it’s exclusive support and they only ‘big up’ the same people week after week.
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I have learnt a lot over the past few months , mostly positive but some negatives. I’ve realised a lot about myself too. The biggest thing I’ve found is that maybe I do need / miss the reassuring words of my mum. I am that adult whose still very childlike ; who needs to hear that she’s doing ok.  That’s something I personally need to work on and believe me I am trying. Nobody likes needy BUT I guess we are only human.
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I also found out that not everybody will be happy for you, a lot of people only ‘mention’ or get in touch with you if they want something. Some can’t even bring themselves to say a few nice words.
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So with this in mind I have to create my own happy, give myself a pat on the back or a bloody good talking too when it’s needed.
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My biggest cheerleader [ mum ] is no longer around and my dad cant get his head around what I do. “Always messing around on that bloody phone
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My BF is amazing but my lack Of confidence drives him to the realm of bonkers and we often end up arguing . I need to spend more time ‘off line’ with my non-Instagram friends. Friends who joke and tell me “nobody really gives a shit ” Who bring me back to reality  with a big bang.

I guess what I’m saying is talk … don’t bottle stuff up even if it feels very trivial.

You are not trivial.

It’s very easy to feel like you are invisible … and even the most seemingly  confident amongst us sometimes feel  like they are not being heard or are not in the ‘popular’ girls club  [ hey , I wasn’t popular at school so nothing changed there! ]
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Remember you are everything … and you are a lot more
Tracey x
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I wrote this earlier today before I heard the very sad news about Caroline Flacks suicide . Although it’s non- related  I guess it is relevant.
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It is so very important that we keep talking to each other … AND equally importantly that we keep listening. 

S T Y L E | Jean Milburn made me do it

Hi I’m Tracey.

I’m not a stylist, scrolling through my Instagram you’ve probably realised this already ! Truth be known just like the contents of my head … I’m a little bit all over .

To be honest my style was probably ‘more me‘ before I joined Instagram . I have got a lot better over time but in the past I’d find myself scrolling , bombarded with and drawn to ALOT of looks … I’d like ALOT of those looks but not all of them liked me back. I got carried away, confused what suited me – tried to be something Im not. I’ve bought things in the past I’d never dream of wearing , things I’ve worn maybe once. Some items scream … what the hell where you thinking?

Instagram made me do it!

There I said it …

Saying all that I have recently been inspired by somebody else’s wardrobe. They are not on Instagram, this time they are over on Netflix . . .

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L I F E | regrets I’ve had a few | 2 minute read

At the summer disco during the last term of senior school , probably around 1986 , the school hottie Richard Bennett asked me if I’d like a ‘smooch’ with him

I can only presume I went bright red [I blushed terribly back then] made my excuses and said no. It was the first and only time we spoke.

I can still remember 30-odd years on that he was donning a pair of red suede shoes [ very cool, I liked a guy who wasn’t scared of expressing himself  ] a grey suit and white shirt with no tie. He was my first crush. A crush that lasted a good number of years.

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L I F E | my 2019 highlights

One of the most important lessons  I’ll take from 2019 .

Why not me?

I have always struggled with the assumption that I wasn’t good enough… pretty enough… cool enough… ‘whatever it is’ enough. Or that if I was I would inevitably fall at the last hurdle and feck up whatever it was I was working on.

My lack of self-confidence drove my parents to the brink of despair and I guess over the years I’ve turned down various opportunities because it was easier than trying and failing. I mean come on I could potentially have been a weather girl on bloody Calender News had I followed up the invitation to audition many years ago.

In 2019 I guess something shifted … combined with the loss of my mum a few years before … I gained a new frame of mind.

So back to my revelation.

Back in early autumn I announced excitedly to a few people [including a few influencers] that I had been asked to be a Regional Ambassador for M.A.C.

The look on a couple of their faces was priceless. Maybe it was my age, maybe they thought my following wasn’t large enough … whatever it was it screamed “you? why you??” some people really need to work on their poker faces.

I admit to thinking that myself initially but I always question EVERYTHING. I joked about how they had obviously emailed the wrong person, but it did make me think …

why me?

or rather why NOT me?

A Little Catch Up & Stocking Fillers Under £10…

I feel like I’ve not spoken in absolutely ages; that I’m neglecting the blog somewhat.

It doesn’t help that I’ve spent the last week, laid horizontal anywhere I can, not feeling too great myself. I was even poorly on my birthday . Great timing eh? I appear to have the dreaded lurgy that is sweeping the nation . They are dropping like flies at work. Even Mollie dog is under the weather!

Well I am here to rectify that today, a little snotty with a tickley cough [ that’s driving me bonkers ]  but here.

So how the devil are you … and are we all ready for Christmas ?

Are you fed up of being asked that question yet? I am … and no I’m not [ ready ].

I’ve not even put my tree up ! I have ordered Harry Styles new album but no tree. [Priorities] Yes you heard correctly – my Christmas tree is not up

“Good god woman” I can imagine my mum muttering from above “pull your finger out!” I’ll no doubt be getting struck by lightening if it’s not up in the next few days ! … Continue reading

L I F E | dancing for the both of us …

Sometimes I feel so ‘full’ that I could burst. I’ll look around & see people enjoying themselves; shiny happy people as ‘REM’ coined them.

I feel overcome with a sense of enormous emotion , you know the kind? Warm ,fuzzy and all consuming. You are so glad to be alive, surrounded by the most amazing friends and family . You feel like you could combust with happiness . You want to group hug everybody.

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