Category: Musings

L I F E | lockdown

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I was contemplating last night.

Not that much will be changing around ours during the lock down period.  I don’t have kids  so there is no home schooling or need to entertain [ accept myself] . I’ll not be going to my part time job and I will miss that routine. It will just be me , him, the fur babies and these 4 walls for the foreseeable. I’ve lost my freedom,  for a few weeks / months and the annual ladies weekend away this year to Lisbon. I’m gutted but I don’t think it is that big a sacrifice for what we could all potentially lose . I can’t see my dad [ or my friends ] – but I will ring him everyday. I would try to get him on the Zoom App but fear he would boil over ! Technology is not his strong point. Continue reading →

B E A U T Y | SPF talk

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One item of my skincare I never miss out on is my SPF. I wear it daily come rain ,wind or shine . There is no point spending time and money on other areas of your routine if you are going to skip on your protection.

FACT | Short term sun damage presents as sunburn. Long term unprotected sun exposure causes gradual damage to skin known as sun damage or photoageing , and accounts for around 90% of the signs of skin-ageing.

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L I F E | pistachio …

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I have a yearning to travel again; explore new places. To sit in hidden coffee bars that smell of tobacco, sun oil and ‘Brut’ . Places where nobody speaks English . Sipping coffee, watching the world go by.

To lie on sandy beaches where the only thing I have to worry about is whether I’ve shaved my legs, reapplying my sun lotion and what to eat next.

To drink over-priced cheap alcohol and dance to Euro ‘clappy clappy’ songs well into the early hours.

Make and collect new memories

When mum died I felt like a huge part of me died too . Travel … life in general lost its flavour. I was vanilla in a pistachio world. I just wanted my mum and hated the world for taking her from me.

I still think about my mum every single day. Some days it’s just a fleeting memory. Some days it feels as though I’m punishing myself and everything resonates back to her

It will be 3 years in July since she died, the fact that I’ve not spoken to or held her for that long is unfathomable. So much has happened over those 3 years. Stuff that she has not been a part of. Yet weirdly I like to believe that she hasn’t missed out on anything because I carry her everywhere with me

She is my smile and dark sense of humour. I can hear her in my mucky laugh and see glimpses of her in my reflection . She is my mischievous side. The way my bum looks flat and square in my work trousers and my overly wrinkly hands. She is the way I curse at everyone and everybody in the car . She is coffee and a slice of carrot cake …my love of fun … Kitchen discos and party games

She is very much alive; she is part of me and she’s telling me it’s time for some pistachio 💕

B E A U T Y | with Rebecca Elsdon Advanced Skincare

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If you’ve been hanging around here for a while with me you will know I love skincare and beauty.

You will also know that I had acne in my early 20’s which has left me with some scarring and hypo-pigmentation. ‘Bug-bears’ I have been trying to improve over the years!

I’ve had lots of treatments from derma roller to TCA peels to lazer but always with the words of a not so tactful therapist lingering in the back of my mind ‘we can’t perform miracles!‘ I’m not daft , a scar is a scar, skin that’s lost pigmentation will never regain it BUT I do believe that with lots of care, with the correct treatments and products you can improve your skins appearance.

So with that in mind and after discovering and talking on Instagram I made an appointment for a consultation with Rebecca Elsdon Advanced Skincare & Aesthetics’s and I couldn’t have been more excited.

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8 0 ‘s M A K E U P | inspired by Stranger Things

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Last Thursday evening I was invited to see ‘Stranger Things’ at the Secret Cinema in London with M.A.C Cosmetics [ part of a paid partnership ] and to attend a couple of Fashion Shows the following day as part of London Fashion Week.

I packed my bags, happy at the prospect of leaving Sheffield for a couple of days and heading down to the ‘big smoke’

London is always fun and I’ve become quite fond of the 2 hour train journey down where all I do is sit, drink coffee, munch on chocolate bars , contemplate life … and read.

Yes folks you heard correctly I am back reading ‘ Feel the Fear and do it anyway‘ … because I was doing all those things !

S E C R E T C I N E M A | stranger things

It’s immersive cinema and in all honesty I wasn’t sure what to expect? We weren’t told were it was. We were Just informed that a taxi would pick us up at the hotel and drop us off . A guide would meet us at the other end and take us across to the secret location. I was intrigued already!

As soon as I entered the ‘cinema’ it felt as though I had been transported back to Hawkins. To be exact 4th July , 1985. If you are not familiar with Stranger Things Hawkins is the town in which the series is set.

Your mobile phone and camera are confiscated as you enter the cinema so there are no photos or instagram moments from the night. It felt very bizarre but I guess it’s so it keeps it intriguing and doesn’t spoil it for anyone else.

It’s actually a grand idea; it makes you feel ‘in the moment‘ . As you are not stopping every few minutes to record something on your phone you can just enjoy the experience.

It really was like being back in 1985 when mobiles didn’t even exist !

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L E T S T A L K | because you are worth it

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If you weren’t aware I was invited by M.A.C as part of my Regional Brand Ambassador role [which ends this month] to London this weekend to attend London Fashion Week ; backstage access and to witness a few shows. 

It is a BIG thing for me. I might not post hauls of clothes every day or be the most fashion savvy amongst us but I adore the creative side of the industry and the make-up … what can I say I’m in bloody heaven.
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This isn’t a pity party post but maybe my following words will resonate and if you are feeling ‘similar’ they will hopefully make you feel less alone. 
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So firstly . . . I’m not in London every weekend and I don’t get invited to many events  [ I used too but after turning down a boat lot of invitations – the invitations stopped because that’s how it rolls I guess. In for a penny, in for a pound ]
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Its more or less always just me,myself and I. I have no ‘clique’ around me. I’m forever walking into a room full of strangers … anxious ; feeling more like 14 than 49.
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To the few people who acknowledged and wished me luck , thankyou . I find people often spout on about women supporting women but a lot of it is hot air said to make certain people look or feel like they are saying the right thing . Or it’s exclusive support and they only ‘big up’ the same people week after week.
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I have learnt a lot over the past few months , mostly positive but some negatives. I’ve realised a lot about myself too. The biggest thing I’ve found is that maybe I do need / miss the reassuring words of my mum. I am that adult whose still very childlike ; who needs to hear that she’s doing ok.  That’s something I personally need to work on and believe me I am trying. Nobody likes needy BUT I guess we are only human.
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I also found out that not everybody will be happy for you, a lot of people only ‘mention’ or get in touch with you if they want something. Some can’t even bring themselves to say a few nice words.
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So with this in mind I have to create my own happy, give myself a pat on the back or a bloody good talking too when it’s needed.
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My biggest cheerleader [ mum ] is no longer around and my dad cant get his head around what I do. “Always messing around on that bloody phone “
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My BF is amazing but my lack Of confidence drives him to the realm of bonkers and we often end up arguing . I need to spend more time ‘off line’ with my non-Instagram friends. Friends who joke and tell me “nobody really gives a shit ” Who bring me back to reality  with a big bang.

I guess what I’m saying is talk … don’t bottle stuff up even if it feels very trivial.

You are not trivial.

It’s very easy to feel like you are invisible … and even the most seemingly  confident amongst us sometimes feel  like they are not being heard or are not in the ‘popular’ girls club  [ hey , I wasn’t popular at school so nothing changed there! ]
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Remember you are everything … and you are a lot more
Tracey x
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I wrote this earlier today before I heard the very sad news about Caroline Flacks suicide . Although it’s non- related  I guess it is relevant.
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It is so very important that we keep talking to each other … AND equally importantly that we keep listening.