It may surprise you to read that in 2 weeks time this little old ‘cake muncher’ is participating in the 5k Pretty Muddy run as part of team ‘Old Boots’ at Rother Valley in Sheffield.

Firstly , I say run lightly as it will be more than likely  a spritely totter with lots of walking in-between. I honestly don’t think I have a run in me.

Secondly , that pesky mud.

Anybody that knows me (well) will know that I have an irrational fear of worms , I don’t like walking bare foot on grass and that I hate getting dirty.

I’ve checked, double checked and checked again that this is ‘manufactured, bought in’ mud and that I will not come face to face with one of those slimy beggars.

I would quite literally freak out.

Anything that’s not got a proper head, that can be chopped in half and still live  … is quite frankly the work of the devil. 

To be honest I wasn’t over joyed about the thought of rolling around in the cold wet mud.

After pondering  it for a while * googled mud run, studied photos, saw for myself that it didn’t look too bad, lots of ladies having a ball in mud * I said I’d do it.

As it grows closer I’m kinda looking forward to it, in a I’m not looking forward to it way! It actually looks like it’s going to be a good ( if mucky) giggle.

I’m going to try to embrace rolling around in the mud, to letting my guard down, being anything other than presentable for the day. Letting my inner child out.

A Private Benjamin moment if you like. ( I bloody love that film)

For as long as I can remember I’ve always made sure that I never leave the house looking anything less than ‘perfect ‘

It may sound daft to you but I attribute this to  living with my not so perfect skin / suffering with acne in my early twenties.

‘Just get up and go’ is not my style. Although its not ‘heavy’ makeup it’s makeup non the less.

I don’t wear foundation (mainly because I’ve never found one that doesn’t sit on my skin like a mask) but I always make sure my skin looks presentable / the best it can .

It’s a confidence thing.

Every morning after washing and in robot fashion I cover any spots and powder my face, even on lazy Sunday’s when I’m not even leaving the house.

My mindset : if my skin looks ok then I’ll be ok and I can face the day.

It’s my armour. An armour the mud will more than likely mess up, but it won’t kill me

Not like cancer does on a daily basis. 

The main reason I agreed to participate in the mud run is because all money raised is for the charity – Cancer Research UK something that is very close to my heart.

Cancer plays dirty, but so can we !

 

Having seen my beautiful mum go through what she has for the past 4 years has been heart-breaking to say the least.

My ‘funny, not so serious , gin swigging , karaoke loving, life and soul of the party’ mum has at times been anything but.

At times she’s been a shadow of her former self. Teary, withdrawn and quiet.  She worries about little things that before she got diagnosed with cancer she wouldn’t have given 2 hoots about. She hardly drinks alcohol anymore.

She’s been cut open, had her womb and a 1/3 of her bowel removed.

Tomorrow is her third week on dialysis.  The cancer treatment has left her with only 1 kidney and that’s only working at about 20% of what it should be.

For the rest of her life she will have to attend the hospital 3 times a week, spending 4 hours each session hooked up to a machine that will clean her blood. Basically do the job her kidney is struggling to do.

To have to sit back as her daughter and watch it all happening , knowing you can do diddly shit to make it any better is just awful.

To see your beloved mum and your best friend cry in frustration. To see her looking so ill, at times so frail she looks like she might break .

The fear of loosing her.

Well …

It’s enough for me to go and get myself covered in mud for ?!

Break my ‘perfect’ cycle once and for all…

Hey the next thing you know I’ll be stroking chuffing worms!

Until next time,

Tracey x

• To read more about the fabulous  work Cancer Research UK do and for details of events in your area // HERE
• Featured Header Image is mum , dad and me as a baby (just in case you were wondering)
• If your feeling generous and you would like to donate to such a worthy cause please click // HERE and a massive thank you x