I woke up this morning feeling strange. A weird, niggly feeling sat far too comfortably in the pit of my stomach.
For the first time in a while I felt hopeful for the next few months, but I also found myself looking to the past , nostalgic for the old days … if that makes any sense whatsoever ?
I thought I would try and shake it off so joined my Dad for our usual Monday morning walk with Mollie Dog .
We headed to the muddy woods & then so Dad could walk the dirt off his boots had a short mooch around Grenoside Village; the place where I grew up .
The village are holding a Christmas Tree Trail. Everyone is welcome to participate and it is bringing some welcome cheer to tier 3 living. There are beautifully decorated trees and gardens ordained with pretty light’s and colourful baubles at each and every turn and around every corner. Even in broad daylight it is quite magical. I don’t know why but it made me want to cry … in an embrace the world and squeeze it to death kind of way.
We bumped into my dad’s lovely neighbour Graham on our travels. We had a socially distanced chat. He said the Christmas trees cheered him up no end, those and the people he bumped into on his daily walks.
He’s definitely onto something there. Throughout all these weird, uncertain times there’s something about Yorkshire folk . A strange resilience. We might whinge about it, but we also just get on with it.
I came home and the nostalgic / sad / happy niggly feeling was still with me. I find at times like this I head for my music. For the past couple of hours I’ve been listening to my all time favourite songs [ and Liam’s Gallagher’s new one ‘ All your dreaming of’ which I’m slightly addicted too ]
I basically let my emotions run amock.
I don’t know why but immersing myself in the music I grew up with, the music I love … and having a dance around my living room is like having a big, welcoming hug .
In this uncertain, shit show that is 2020 Liam’s Mancunian tones are strangely reassuring and familiar – something I never thought I’d hear myself say . The songs take me back, I find myself reflecting . A reminder of a life long gone , but of one well lived .
The shy, young girl who had big dreams and little confidence. A terrible perm, a massive crush on Martin Kemp of Spandau Ballet and Blondie posters plastered all over her bedroom walls .
Feisty like her Grandma Betty .
The party girl just like her mum …
While things didn’t turn out exactly as I envisaged; currently unemployed, a failed marriage behind me and the loss of one of the most important people in my life – my mum- a long , long time before I was prepared for her to leave … I am still here, I am happy and that’s something to be celebrated . I still dream big and I love to go out and party. I don’t see that ever changing . I guess I am my mums daughter afterall; I am doing it for the both of us now. I have big, beautiful boots to fill.
The songs I listen to, in some way, shape or form, piece together like one big complicated jigsaw puzzle and make me, me . There is a tune for every major event – the breakups and the makeups. Births, marriages , deaths, holidays… and that’s what makes it so very special.
Music evokes and sometimes unexpectedly awakens emotions that may have lay dorment for a while . It is a very personal journey; no two people have the identical soundtrack to their lives.
Music is without a doubt, single handily the best tonic you can give yourself – the gift of escapism.
To coin a phrase ” music was my first love and it will be my last” … so please excuse me I’ve got some Guns N Roses lined up and an air guitar with my name on it…
6 thoughts on “L I F E – music was my first love …”
We grew up with a whole range of music…including C&W which mum and dad were into big time, it’s funny how you can remember all the words but can’t remember what you were talking about half hour ago. Had to laugh when I asked my 3 year old granddaughter what her favourite song is…. “blues brothers shake your tail feather”
Thankyou for popping across and commenting. You are so right …a tune can come on the radio that I’ve not heard for years and I can sing all the words ! In real-time I don’t know what day it is half the time .
Haha that’s funny regards Blues Brothers… Children do make me giggle .
Have a lovely day xx
We had a shocker of a 2019 with family bereavements. Music has evoked huge memories of those people this year more so than others. Can really relate to this. I think for our age group (mainly as we didn’t have social media and tech that allowed us to download favourite songs as opposed to whole albums) albums and songs were listened to on a loop and attached to situations and people. Have always used music as an escape and a comfort and a soundtrack to a agood night 🙂
Thankyou for popping across and having a read. Sorry to hear about 2019 and your family bereavements.
I definitely think you are onto something regards us not having social media / no technology and getting attached to certain songs . I swear I listened to Alexander ONeill on repeat every night to send me to sleep and can still recite every single word. There is definitely a song that relates to every major and ( not so major )situation in my life.
Take care x
Love post Tracey. I’ve been listening to an awful lot of music from my late 20s/early 30s recently. In early lockdown (1) it was all about my secondary school anthems. It’s a freAkin weird year so… anything goes, right? Xx
Hey up Bean,
Thankyou for popping across and having a read , you are always so supportive.
Its been a weird year all right and somehow I find listening to familiar and much loved songs helps me …. especially when I have a mad half hour dancing too. Like you say anything goes this year and especially anything that helps to get us through.
Well look back one day and I’m.sure we’ll talk about the good as well as the weird bits . Kitchen discos will definitely figure highly !
Have a lovely day xx