‘The dreaded dick pic’ – an open letter to all you offenders!

Dear fellas,

A weird thing happened the other morning, which has thankfully not happened for a while.

After mentioning I was newly single on one of my IG posts , low and behold the very next morning I woke up to several smarmy messages and to the dreaded ‘dick pic’ from a couple of random men on IG.

My Heart sank a little…

I realise it’s a funny ole subject to broach and not one we often talk about. But it is one I feel I need to address! ( again!)

Men I need a word in your shell like … For your own good, to spare our blushes but especially yours! To stop you making an idiot of yourself!

Unless we ask you too DO NOT , I repeat DO NOT ever send us ladies a Piccy of your ‘Cyril sneer’ ( I can’t watch Raccoon’s. I spend the whole programme giggling at said character. His head is shaped like a penis!!)

Firstly Let’s get this straight, I am not desperate. Your genitals ( no matter how big, broad or hard) will not swing it for you! Eyes and a nice smile might but never your privates!

Whatever happened to good old fashioned romance? 

I’m dam sure my gran and grandad did not get acquainted over a pic of grandads willy! I realise there were no mobile phones back then; people used to meet up and speak face to face – not face to willy. Could you imagine?

The mobile has a lot to answer for!

Secondly what’s happened to respect… 

What do you take us ladies for? I for one am not an air head. I am an independent young lady who is more interested In what’s going on up there ( points to your head ) and what you have to say for yourself rather than what’s tucked in your boxers! Give me good conversation, a bit of banter and a fun personality any day!

I often wonder what’s going through you guys heads when you press send and what you think we will do on receipt? 

Do you envisage we get an overwhelming urge to meet you and rip your clothes off ?… 

Spontaneously Come ( in my case it’ll take a whole lot more time and effort than that! ) 

Feel so turned on we have to run off and relieve ourselves ? 

No, I’m sorry it’s non of the above.

I personally cringe and feel ever so slightly sorry for you. This maybe followed by a little giggle dependent on the ‘state’ of ‘it’ , then it gets deleted! 

On the rare occasion my mum might get a sneaky peak because she needs a good laugh! ( that alone should be enough reason to never send me a picture again !! )

I can’t ever look or think about you in the same light again.Your dead meat to me. You’ll more than likely get blocked. Sorry you will get blocked.

Your the guy who’ll flash his privates to seemingly any lady for a quick thrill. 

Your basically a saddo.

Most girls want romance, to be wined and dined. To be treated like the lady they are. Basically we want sweeping off our feet by a charming gentleman.

If after we’ve dated a while and we still like each other … then and only then may we want to get acquainted with your pecker. Sometimes it’s good to be kept waiting, the thrill of the unknown and all that !

So until we reach that stage I urge you to please keep it in your pants, and make polite, witty conversation.

Stop with the pics and work that personality baby!

Tracey x


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