LIFE | dear john …

I shouldn’t have but … oh oh I only bloody did… I’ve just lost an hour scrolling through a Tattle forum . It’s like Mumsnet but waaayyyyy more bitchy. My curiosity got the better of me and into the rabbit hole I fell.

OMG!!

Just a little background so you can see where I’m coming from if you are new around here . Let’s call it ‘a bloggers perspective ‘

I don’t usually feel the need to justify myself … but the forums niggled me, got me feeling like I should… which in itself is niggling me that I feel that way? Confusing yes but bare with me

Liz and I started our blog along time before blogs were a ‘thing’ . It was called ‘Indulge In‘ back then . At a time when instagram wasn’t around … or if it was well it was in it’s infancy and very small fry . We both loved writing [ I still do ] and by writing a weekly blog it [hopefully] helped us improve our writing skills. By documenting my mums illness and her eventual death it was therapeutic for me. What I found hard to express verbally I wrote down.

For-years Liz and I just wrote willy nilly, when it took our fancy, or when we could squeeze a post in. We both worked full time and fitted blogging in where we could just because we enjoyed it and the opportunities it allowed us.

It was a fun hobby so to speak .There was no schedule . There were no gifts, a couple of review opportunities popped up here and there … and then we started getting noticed by brands.

Of course we were flattered!

When La Redoute got in touch [ oh la la ]and asked us to style some jeans you’d have thought we had won the bloody lottery ! They sent us a crappy tote bag [ just the one ] , an Eiffel Tower ornament [ what the actual feck for … we’ve still no idea ] and 2 pairs of jeans in the wrong sizes. We were so naive back then we didn’t even tell them we just squeezed ourselves into them and hoped for the best !

We were always mindful of only accepting clothing / products we would honestly have bought ourselves. Apart from that time I accepted a horrible pair of trainers #thecopperclodhoppers which I really struggled to write about [or give away ] Lesson learnt … if I’m not into it it’s not getting featured on my piece of the internet !

Nowadays as you’ve probably gathered there is only me posting on the blog. Liz and I are still good friends but out of choice she no longer has any input, but is always welcome back.

So back to today and the current climate. The all ‘influencers/ bloggers’ are free loaders / lazy arses’ era

*rolls her eyes*

Firstly I was always told that its NOT ok to put everyone [ or indeed your eggs] in the one basket . Yes of course there are some accounts that would seemingly sell their kidney for more likes, would promote chocolate teapots and aren’t authentic but there are others that are superb writers, content creators and are very authentic. Come on let’s be realistic here there are good cops and bad cops in most walks of life … the anything for ease and the grafters

I’m not after sympathy , a follow or a like … you will no doubt have your opinion of me, and that’s yours to have. [ gobby northerner] Like somebody very fabulous once said ‘your opinion of me is non of my business

Saying that I also think your opinion of somebody should not become the focus of a public forum. In this case influencers and bloggers.

I truly don’t understand the mindset of people who go onto these places and absolutely rip other people, their lifestyle and their choices to bits. Despite what you may think they are human and they will have feelings.

Wouldn’t it be easier and less stressful to just unfollow them and go about your day , worry about your own existence ? Chances are you’ll never meet them in real life so why let them affect yours? I can only guess that by slagging off and making judgement on these people it somehow makes them feel better about themselves ?

I’m all for constructive criticism but some of the threads are down-right evil.

Don’t get me wrong I see stuff that niggles me all the time.That’s life I’m afraid . There’s always unfairness … popularity over ability. I worked for a large design practise for 14 years and believe me I’ve seen it all. It’s not only bloggers that get ‘freebies‘ … and at least ours are legal ! I’ll tell you about it one day … but I’d probably have to leave the country first!

I was always told if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say it. Think it [ bloody hell I’m no angel of course I think things ] analysis it and let it go.

I personally think we generally just need to be a little kinder to one another. To remember that most of us are just trying to better ourselves, be that for whatever reason . To improve our writing, photography, gain confidence, earn a bit of ‘me’ money … or write a book [hello]

Just for the record I shall not be visiting said website again; I’m mad at myself for even getting drawn in in the first place. I wasted an hour of my life reading meaningless chit-chat [ or rather shit-shat] when I could have been doing something productive – dare I say start that bloody children’s book

Let’s try and-remember everybody has their own shit going on. To live and let live and maybe when you feel the need to annihilate somebody [you’ve probably never met] online… ask yourself the question who made you the judge and jury ?

Tracey x

13 thoughts on “LIFE | dear john …

  1. Caroline (Cultivate with me) says:

    I can only imagine the “shit -shat” that hoes on those forums. It is certainly not worth any of our energy ….but curiosity gets the better of us sometimes doesnt it? I’m with you on the “if you can’t say anything nice” ….but oh yesss I think a lot too lovely, but thats only human. Great post Traceyxxx

    • lizandtracey says:

      Morning Caroline,
      My curiosity got the better of me !! Somebody mentioned it a few weeks ago- that they had been included on a thread. I honestly couldn’t believe the way some people were getting ripped apart … I’m very sure they wouldn’t say anything to their faces.
      I certainly shall not be going back on
      Thanks for popping over and commenting , always nice to hear your thoughts.
      Tracey xxx

  2. Leanne says:

    I agree Tracey, We all need to be a little more mindful of what comes out of our mouths or from our fingers (Im looking at those keyboard warriors)

    • lizandtracey says:

      Totally Leanne,
      Words can linger for a long time and who are we judge others on a public forum? It just seems particularly cruel x

  3. Karen Devin says:

    I don’t believe you should post something you would not be happy to say to someone face to face in a discussion, social media platforms seem to bring out the worst in some people who feel they can express any opinion. I follow your blog because it interests me and I enjoy reading your posts and you need to write the content you are happy with. Carry on the fab job ☺️

    • lizandtracey says:

      Morning Karen,
      Firstly thankyou that’s always lovely to hear.
      Sometimes things wind me up but I try not to react to everything. However I found this forum particularly one-sided and pretty damming tbh. Awful in fact.
      I guess it’s a choice to read and my curiosity got the better of me but I won’t be visiting again!
      Thanks for popping across, Tracey x

  4. Melissa Abbott says:

    Been thinking a lot about this recently with all the nastiness on insta! Agree with you totally!

    • lizandtracey says:

      Thankyou Melissa,
      I try not to react to everything I read / see but I found this particular forum very one-sided and particularly cruel to the point of getting very personal about people… some of whom I follow myself . It’s not necessary, unfollow, block even and move on
      Happy Easter xx

  5. Suzanne W says:

    I got drawn into looking at it recently too and was SO shocked at the downright nastiness of it all. I can’t believe that grown women write/voice their opinions in this way! Why??? What do they gain from it other than their own feeling of superiority. Disgusting to be honest.

    • lizandtracey says:

      Hello Suzanne ,
      Thankyou for popping across and having a read.
      I was gob-smacked to be honest. I thought Mumsnet was bad enough but this was next level nasty.
      In life I guess you can’t like everyone but you can unfollow them …
      There really is no need for any of it x

  6. jess jannenga says:

    I don’t know what Mumsnet is but I can imagine. Yes, I am a believer in If you can’t say something nice… Negative energy and thoughts expressed in this manner is not constructive in any way, I don’t understand how people can be like this. We are adults!! Tracey, I agree, blogging is alot of work, I enjoy writing and interacting, things aren’t gifted for nothing. Keep up the good work as I enjoy your writing and sense of humour!
    Pop on by the Turning heads Linkup if you like, it goes all week.
    Jessxx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

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