Dear Paris…

It seems wrong to write today, about anything. What happened last night in your beautiful city of Paris was cruel, pure evil. It ended innocent people’s lives too early and without warning.

I can’t get out of my head that the victims never got the chance to say goodbye to their loved ones, never got that final cuddle. It makes everything else seem so trivail in comparison.

However,  as my ever wise mum said earlier today…  “life does go on and by stopping our everyday life and not doing what we would normally do,  then we are letting ‘them’ win”. She has a point. Life does go on… Just for some it will never be the same again, and it’s saddens me no end.

I picked mum up this morning for our weekly coffee and catch-up.

She opened the door to me and burst into tears. Before you say it I know, I know my face isn’t that appealing at 8.30 in the morning but it’s not that bad surely!

Joking apart her cancer has alot to answer for. It’s left my mum very vulnerable, very sensitive.

She sat and watched the news about the previous nights goings on in Paris over breakfast with my dad. She told him she loved him before he left for work and then sat and waited for me, thinking things over . Like me she thought about all those who didn’t get chance to say goodbye and hoped that non of them had left on an argument. The wasted lives, the pointless deaths. I suppose it was all too much for her. She’s fought and struggled with womb cancer for the past 3 years, the thought that after all that it could be taken away so easily, well it made her cry…

I told her to stop being silly and reassured her that if anything did happen today (in Meadowhall) that I would jump on top of her and shield her. I told her she was my mum, that I loved her, and wouldn’t let anything happen to her…

Which set her off again.

My boyfriend said the same thing to me. I responded with “if a bullet didnt kill me then the weight of him jumping on top of me might”. I know we shouldn’t joke about such terrible things but sometimes it’s the only way to get through.

So the post I had lined up for today is going to wait. I’m sure nobody really cares about my sequin dress update, on the best of days, never mind today.

So yes, as I said life does go on, as will this blog and my ramblings…tomorrow.

For today I’m going to end this post by sending my thoughts and prayers to all those affected by last night’s attacks.

Don’t they say that out of the darkness comes light…?

I hope so, I really do.

Much Love, Tracey x

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