Ok, so as promised here’s my weekly update on life following my sudden redundancy…
I think last time we spoke I advised you that I was enrolled on an interview technique workshop at the delightful job centre. I can’t say I was looking forward to it but I rocked up there last Monday with a spring in my step , albeit dreading it.
After the initial performance of getting past the bouncers and various staff members we were led upstairs to a small room where we were seated in a semi-circle, kind of how I imagine you would be sat at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting . At one point I wanted to proclaim “I am Tracey and I am an alcoholic” but what I’ve learnt is that nobody has a sense of humour at these places and the guy next to me looked like he might have been and I didn’t want to offend or upset him.
Overall the workshop was fairly helpful. However when we were questioned about how we should prepare for an interview, on the actual day of the interview. I mustered up that perhaps we should have looked into the company and have some idea of what they did / turnover / clients etc. etc . NOPE. Apparently you should have made sure you had had a wash and had put some clean clothes on. I thought he was being overtly witty and I started laughing , while everybody else sat pan- faced writing it down? Really. ..Doesn’t everybody get up on a morning, have a wash and put clean clothes on? Obviously not!
The next corker – ‘what shouldn’t you do during an interview?’ Apparently we shouldn’t pick our noses. Seriously if you pick your nose during an interview, or in front of anybody else for that matter, then you don’t deserve to get the job in the first place. I do doubt some of these guys will ever get employment if they have to be told to wash and not pick their noses in public.
The fortnightly trip to the Job centre to ‘sign on’ was scheduled for Wednesday. I’m not sure what it is about these places, but they are dark, dingy and not at all joyous . They also have a distinct smell of BO and wet dog. I feel depressed as soon as I set foot in one of them.
I was scheduled to see Craig who happened to be a lady called Julie. Lovely lady whose hair would have looked better for a wash , her fringe was stuck to her forehead. Anyway the conversation was very serious . We’ve not got a job. There are worst things. Lighten up. In order to do this when she asked me what my ideal job would be I answered a member of Little Mix. Well it’s true and she did ask. My wit is so wasted on these people. Julie just gave me a look and carried on waffling on about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. She was helpful but the reality of it is that I’m a 43 year old woman whose sat filling in a ‘My Work Plan’ booklet …where did it all go wrong?
Remember he photo shoot I mentioned last time? Well I keep getting asked what the pictures were like? I’d love to be-able to tell you but we’ve not seen them yet! I chased Bob up last week , apparently he’s got some great pictures, hes editing them and hopes to get them to us next week. He must be poly-filling the bloody photos to an within inch of their life ! As soon as I get to see them, so will you…
On the social front my brother and his wife Kelly held an impromptu Afternoon Tea at their house last Sunday. I do love tea and cake as I’m sure your fully aware by now and thoroughly enjoyed some quality family time complete with champagne. I do worry that I will return to work like a house – side. All I seem to do is eat cake lately. You know how people comment ‘how did he/she manage to be so big and not realise?’ well that could well be me shortly!
D and I were invited to a ‘My Secret Kitchen Party’ last night at my friend Karen’s house. Or as we had been referring to it all week a ‘ Dips and pickle’ party. D cried off at the last minute as he had man flu, which to us ladies is basically a bad cold. Men and illnesses – you do make me laugh.
The party was all rather civilised and we got to try lots of unusual condiments. The ‘Jumping Jack Chilli Jam’ was an instant hit and I swear everybody in that room last night ordered a jar to take home for themselves. My god that stuff tasted delicious spread all over a cracker with a slice of cheese. It blew my simple ‘chips and cheese’ taste buds out of the water!
Another firm favourite was the ‘Secret Wild Garlic Spices’ .Basically you throw a spoon full of this ‘deliciousness’ in with any dish to perk it up. I adore garlic and stood ‘grazing’ over a plate of carrots coated in wild garlic infested mayo. As you can imagine I smelt delightful this morning! Combined with my bad back ( I pulled it out yesterday) which has left me walking like I’m wearing a nappy and a corker of a hangover thanks to Mr Rose – I was a sight for sore eyes.
Unlike D I didn’t feel sorry for myself. Rather I got up (it took a while my back had seized up) had a wash (without being prompted ) and got ready to go and meet mum for coffee. Mum and Tracey time is my absolute favourite. Mum’s finally got a date for her operation – April 8th. It really cant come quick enough. Cancer-free she can get back on with her life.
So there you go . I might be unemployed but you know what I can’t complain. I look at mum and what she’s gone /going through and having no job is small fry in the big scheme of things.
Life really is what you make it and at the moment I’m probably the most content I’ve been in ages…
Like an old ‘friend’ used to say ‘Its all gravy’