This year for all sorts of reasons , but mainly because non of us can face it without mum. We are going to leave on a jet plane and spend Christmas abroad somewhere hot.

Mum was our Christmas .

She was ‘Mrs Christmas’.

She adored it. She always had the best, most tastefully dressed tree [always red  and gold ], ensured the house was lit up like Blackpool, and her giddiness was infectious. Family was everything to mum and she ensured we always had the best time.

I tend to get my own way and have spent every single Christmas Day at Mum and Dads, bar one when I went to my ex-husbands house for Christmas lunch. I hated every single minute of it. Not because they did anything wrong, it just wasn’t the same without my mum around.

I’m positively dreading this year , the first year without her.

It’ll never be easy but I’m kinda guessing this year will be tough for us all. Firsts always are.

We [ dad, BF & brother] made a collective decision that this year we would take ourselves out of our usual surroundings and do something we’ve never done before. Hence a week abroad is on the cards. It’s new, there are no memories of mum there. [though I’m sure we will all be thinking about her.] It will still be absolutely gut wrenching her not being there with us …

I love Christmas but quite frankly this year I could take it or leave it.

So while I’d normally start looking for a warm, snug yet stylish outfit with an elasticated expanding waistband;  this year that will be substituted for a new bikini, sandals and a good false tan.  Continue reading →