I’ve ‘hummed and arrhhed’ about posting this for fear of offending people , for fear of coming across depressive. I’m not here to conform, and it is just my thoughts, my musings of the last few months.
I braved it and hit publish.
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As regular readers will be aware my mum died on July 10th 2017.
The official cause of death Endometrioid Carcinoma of the Upper Vagina and end stage Kidney Disease.
I was there as she took her last breath.
Just like that … after 2 weeks in palliative care she gave up the good fight.
It took me a while to be able to say it and not feel terrible… but it was a relief.
To see somebody you love who had always been so active – bed-bound and in pain, with no prospect of getting better is gut-wrenching. The helplessness you feel, the aching, the love, the anger, the sadness … it a real mix of emotion, it’s confusing.
It caused me anxiety, sleepless nights and pangs of guilt. Continue reading