L I F E | regrets I’ve had a few | 2 minute read

At the summer disco during the last term of senior school , probably around 1986 , the school hottie Richard Bennett asked me if I’d like a ‘smooch’ with him

I can only presume I went bright red [I blushed terribly back then] made my excuses and said no. It was the first and only time we spoke.

I can still remember 30-odd years on that he was donning a pair of red suede shoes [ very cool, I liked a guy who wasn’t scared of expressing himself  ] a grey suit and white shirt with no tie. He was my first crush. A crush that lasted a good number of years.

A few years later while out clubbing with the ‘girls’ I was approached by an elderly guy. We got chatting and the conversation ended with him handing me his business card , encouraging me to get in touch about an audition. He thought I’d make a good local weather girl and as they were currently in the process of recruiting would I be interested?

I took the card, presuming it was a joke, or he was a ‘lurch’. . . I didn’t trust many people back then especially older men in suits,  hanging around in nightclubs . . . and I never rang.

I’m not sure how we found out but it transpires he was pretty well known , they were recruiting and he did in-fact work for Calendar News.

Regrets I’ve had a few …

These are just 2 examples of many where I said no when I desperately wanted to say yes. Or I didn’t follow up on an opportunity because I was scared .

Scared I’d disappoint , scared I’d not live up-to expectations. Scared … I guess that’s pretty much how I’ve spent most of my life

Scared of being a failure

Scared of being a success

I don’t want to be scared anymore, it’s stopping me growing, from fun and new experiences . So while I’m not making any New Year resolutions or putting pressure on myself to do, or be anything other than me, I am going to carry on as I started to do last year. If an opportunity should arise , one I like the sound of,  but which makes me feel sick or a little anxious I’ll say yes rather than no. 

Regrets I’ve had a few … yes … but there’s nothing I can do about those, so there’s no point beating myself up about them either .

What I can do is take what I’ve learnt [ I’m a bloody plonker with no confidence …but a nice one ] and move forward .

It’s never too late to bloom 💕

Happy New Year , Tracey x

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