It’s been a funny old day…

Funerals make you reflective don’t they? They are beautiful , yet tremendously sad at the same time. We’ve been to say goodbye to one of my best friends mums today. It’s never easy but it was a lovely service . For me the Vicar summed it up perfectly – her words resonated. She said on your grave stone amongst other things will be engraved your date of birth – the day you departed  [for example 1928 – 2017] but oh what meaning that little dash holds. Make your dash as for-filled as possible.

She’s right isn’t she? That little dash represents your life. What will yours say?

There have been a lot of angry people out there the last few days. Politics bring out the ugly. Much to my dismay I’ve seen friends turn on each other ?? Name calling, mickey taking, just awful behavior and all because your views might not reflect theirs.

Call me whatever you want but a wise old Irish man once told me to never talk about politics or religion … not if you wanted to keep your friends that is. I stand by that . I’m not judging , I just don’t discuss … that’s just my way. Friendship to me will always outweigh any political views.

I , much to my own annoyance, still get frustrated with stupid little things. Social media for instance. I’m trying hard to not let it … but people are still buying a following, buying likes, following and unfollowing me like it’s a game. It’s lazy, its easy and it’s unfair on the people who work really hard to grow organically. It  makes me sad and ever so angry BUT at the same time I realize there are much, much, much more important things to worry about…. my mum for one .

My beautiful, brave, best friend. She doesn’t deserve this shit life’s thrown at her. She’s a good person…why her?

I have to admit I sat in church today and shed some tears for her. It’s a sad sad fact , but one I have to face …my mum has cancer and it ain’t going away. I’m not sure how long we’ve got [saying that does anybody really? ] It could be months, it could be years who knows? Accepting the fact she’s not going to be around forever is the hardest thing I have to face BUT rather than be bitter at the world [ cause believe me at times I’ve screamed , shouted and kicked walls ]  I figure I’ve got two choices.

I either stay angry and waste the time I do have with mum, or I accept the shitty situation and enjoy that time. Its not been easy but I / we have as a family accepted it. Don’t get me wrong it’s not been easy, it took a while and a boat-loads of tears.

I am still hopeful of a miracle.

Its good to talk, to have dreams and share them with mum. She needs to know we’ll be o.k, that we still have ambition. That I still want to swim with sharks and write a children’s book. I reassure her that I will ensure dad eats! 

Mum and I talk A LOT. I’ve made sure she knows everything I need her too. I don’t want any word left unsaid.

I’ve seen people avoid her because they don’t know what to say. Awww this kills me. Its not her fault she has this bastard growing inside her. She’s still the same old Peggy Herring , nothings changed, she’s just sick. She maybe pale and a little weaker than usual but she still has a wicked sense of humor, she still loves to laugh. Loves to gossip and know what you’ve been up-to. She still exists please don’t treat her like shes already gone…

I’ve decided [ during a drunken instagram post, that kinda made a lot of sense] that I’m going to be more like Debbie Harry.

I mean just look at her…

I say we all grab our leopard skin catsuits, strut what our mama gave us and make the most of this wonderful journey we call life. Have fun, live more, care less what people think !

My mum honestly wouldn’t want it any other way. Given half the chance she’ll be wearing one too, strutting along right beside me.

#belikedebbie

We are to coin a phrase ‘a long time dead’ . Make sure your dash is full to busting. Make it count.

You with me? … I really hope so.

 

Tracey x 
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