I wrote and published a post on Instagram a couple of days ago which I ‘ummmed and arrhhhed’ about.
I resisted the urge to delete.
I then pondered whether to write this blog for fear of being misunderstood. Sometimes I get things in my head but they don’t come out the way I intend.
Firstly I love Instagram. I love the interaction; like -minded people bonding over pictures of our tea and what we’ve been wearing.
I don’t know about you but I find it hard to relate to some of the tiny squares of ‘perfection’ some accounts portray. They look like they are living the dream. Perfectly coiffured at all times, immaculate, contoured and sporting all the latest trends.
I’m perfectly imperfect and I’m certainly not living the dream. I’m Currently sat in mis-matched pjs with unbrushed hair. I’ve been like that most of the day. I’m a little messy around the edges if the truth be known.
Maybe I’m over-thinking things but some days it’s not enough to post an #ootd or some beauty bits. I feel like I’m cheating you.
Some days I just want to tell you how it really is. What’s really happening behind my squares.
I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to relate.
My gallery is ‘neat’. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m contrary and I too love all the pretty . I post my best selfies. My favourite outfits, posh coffees preferably with flowers .
My ramblings will no doubt be accompanied by an outfit / beauty / landscape piccy. The description underneath will reveal my true state of mind.
Chances are we’ll never meet but if we did I wouldn’t want there to be any surprises. I want you to get to know ‘the real me’ … camel toe and all!
The Pressure to be less than perfect all the time is not good for your mind-set, or your health.
I’m not saying that Instagram should suddenly become the photo version of ‘ The Samaritans ‘ and we should all air our dirty laundry and post pics of ourselves greasy and unwashed.
I am saying post your pretty pictures but if your having a bad day or awful week don’t be afraid to say so! Break those Instagram rules! It makes you more human.
As I was typing the IG post I did think to myself I’m going to lose followers .
I did … a boat load actually. Real life isn’t so appealing I guess.
I did think to myself this is Instagram , this isn’t the right forum. This isn’t what people want to read. Instagram is however a lot different to what it was a few years ago. It’s not just about the photos anymore. People are listening and being influenced by what we say [ especially us bloggers ]. I guess we have a responsibility to each other.
Despite the droves of unfollowers the post actually received a really lovely response. I was quite touched by some of the comments.
The day I posted on Instagram was a crap day. The crappest of crap. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was a 15!
I didn’t want to talk about my lippy or discuss my camels toe. I suppose I wanted to ‘vent’ Let it all out.
Take yesterday though … it was a good day.
I could have joked about how I looked like a chubby Max Wall in my running gear. I laughed a lot. I spent time with some fabulous people. I ran 5k for charity . I did good.
It’s swings and roundabouts.
It’s warts and all.
It’s my life.
So this was the #currentmood post I shared with the insta-world.
The reason I hesitated posting ?
People go on Instagram for alsorts of reasons – it’s a form of light relief, escapism, to be inspired or just to have a nosey at how the other half live .
I don’t suppose they want to hear ‘doom and gloom’.
The day I posted [the above] I was raw, I was emotionally drained and I wanted to tell people that it is ok to not be ok. To not beat yourself up. You don’t have to be a perfect Square all the time.
Be a chuffing hexagon.
To coin a Human League song – I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made
In an age where appearance is seemingly the be all and end . Where we have to keep up appearances to the outside world it could be easy to loose sight of what’s important. I know at times I have.
Our sanity. The people around us. Real life – Loving. Laughing. Living. That’s what really matters.
I see endless galleries with perfect little squares that could quite honestly belong to the same person. Maybe their life’s are perfect , who knows? I’m not here to judge.
I just want my squares to be true to me .The good, the bad and yes … the plain ugly.
The pressure on people [especially young impressionable children] to be this perfect version of themselves all the time is unrealistic. It must also be exhausting.
It’s making people who don’t feel great 24/7 feel shit about themselves and that …well that’s just plain rubbish.
If I’m honest in the past I’ve scrolled through my feed and thought jeez I have no life! These people have the perfect life/ figure/ face / house… I’ve forgotten in the past that I am 46 with wobbly bits and bingo wings. That comparing myself to a 20 something is not healthy!
Maybe just maybe by revealing our dark moments, showing that at times it’s not all plain sailing , we might just help someone who is struggling. Someone who feels like they can’t compete in the ‘insta perfect’ world. Someone who feels anything less than perfect.
I personally love to see your #ootds , your new cushions and your newest beauty find but I also want to see and hear ‘the real.’
My favourite accounts aren’t necessarily the popular ones. They don’t necessarily follow a theme. They are a little messy but fabulous all the same.
I want to see big goofy smiles … [something I have to work on myself being the master of the Lemon pout! ]
I want a box with personality. I want to see people having fun. When life throws you side-ways I want to hear about that too because that’s what makes us human … makes us real.
Real isn’t the enemy – don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
There are no rights and wrongs … be your own version of Instagram but please, please, please always be you.
#keepitreal
Tracey x
* linking up with #saturdaysharelinkup notlamb.com *
* Linking up with #brilliantblogposts honestmum.com
I finally got to pop over to your blog and read this post re: IG…and i have to say i loved it and totally agree with you on every point! I am following you on IG and from the first moment on i just loved your humour and wit (as well as your pics!)… I was also really drawn to the ‘realness’ of your posts. I have only been on IG for 2 weeks and wish i had done it sooner as i’m having so much fun! However, having looked at hundreds of other ‘squares’, i absolutely get you and agree with you!!! I’m also 46 and there is just no comparing to be done with the 20 somethings who all seem to have exactly the same pics, outfits, colours….and, and, and… it was a bit intimidating at first (who will follow me i thought…?), but the older i get the less i give a shite! I have gained so much confidence since starting with IG (which i was severely lacking for years), so i guess for me it is a good thing but once again…totally agree with everything you have said in this post! Stay as you are!!! HUGS. Tania (@about_tanslife).
PS: Am planning to start a blog (been in the planning for the last 4 years…ha ha) and you have inspired me to get going with it.xx
Hi Tania, thanks so much for popping over , having a read and commenting. It always means a lot 😘
I look forward to reading your blog … please tag me into your first post. Blogging gets addictive and I love it. I’ve also met some wonderful people and brands. I Wish you lots of luck though I’m sure it will be fabulous xx
Love this post. Well done for being so honest. I, personally, have unfollowed those who look like they have a ‘perfect’ life and prefer to follow those who show life as it is. I’ve been through what you’re going through with your mum. It’s heart breaking and so unfair. Being there for her is the most important and keep telling her how much you love her. Stay strong xx
Going through my own raw period so I totally empathise with you. I’ve been trawling instagram looking for that mix of style and WIT (very rare commodity these days) so I thoroughly enjoy your squares, talk of camel toe and all! Mammies (I’m Irish you see) are a most precious gift so of course you would be consumed by the worry.
Take care!
Thankyou For your lovely comment . I don’t take myself too seriously.. it’s clothes after all and yes my camels toe does get mentioned a fair bit. Off up to mums now. Her friends are taking her for coffee so I’ve going to get her ready. Have a lovely day x
I’m fairly new to the whole IG thing. I blogged for a long time, but I came to IG to find something new – visual inspiration for fashion and beauty – I was stuck in a camel toed rut! My experience of blogging is that it can be hugely supportive – unfollowing in the blog world just because someone keeps it real by wearing their heart on their sleeve doesn’t really happen. People appreciate the honesty and offer support. I haven’t engaged with IG the same way yet, but it saddens me to think that people unfollow because of the honest words at the bottom of a post. Personally, it’s the words I love as much as the picture. Instagram is inspiring, funny and brilliant in it’s own way but like you say, we need to remind ourselves now and again that it’s often a fluffed up version of real life. (Although I’m as much as a sucker as the next person for an inspired OOTD shot.) You’re one of my IG faves, exactly because you’re comfortable with who you are, and you keep it real. It’s been a tough time I know, but keep on doing what you’re doing. It’s great. x
Your comment is just so lovely , thankyou. Totally agree with everything you say … especially about the words at the bottom of the caption. I don’t try to take myself too seriously , I never have and I mostly look like a bag lady but I think they rock… so I’m comfortable with that. Have a lovely day and thankyou for popping across xx
I love your IG account and that’s because it’s real – not just a set of perfect pictures that make me feel inadequate, but a real person who I think if I ever met in person I’d really like (and certainly want to steal their wardrobe!). Keep being a hexagon I definitely don’t intend to unfollow x
Such a beautiful raw and honest post. I have such similar feelings too about what I post. I try to keep it real with my words. I can’t post lots of the children or the melt downs or he attitude stops or the messy rooms because they would disown me and I have to be quite careful in what I say about them too as they follow me (damn!!) but I try to be honest where I can. I commend your honesty and I’m so sorry that you are going through something so painful at the moment. Well done on the charity event – that’s amazing and you should be so proud! xx
Thankyou for popping across and commenting. I’m the same … my wording is the place to find my current mood etc . I think your Instagram is amazing. So varied and interesting.
Thanks again for taking the time to read, Tracey xx
Great post. I often see themed Instagram feeds and so much seems same samey. I’m all about posting a picture at the time I take it or because i like it. If it doesn’t fit the them, it doesn’t fit. I haven’t got time to work out whether or not a perfectly good photo I’ve taken doesn’t relate to a theme. Sod that!
Morning, firstly thankyou for popping across for a read and I agree. I always say my life’s not a theme so why make it one? Yep sod that x
Have been having an off IG period so just seen all this. I have been where you are with my Mum, Dad and Sister so know exactly how you feel. Sometimes you just feel life isn’t fair and the last thing you need are the IG Stepford Women who want you to think they are perfect…these are the ones I unfollow 😱 I hope you get great support from the messages you receive, even though you have never met most of us it is great to get a virtual hug when you feel low 💕💕💕 Wish I could sort your camel toe out, wouldn’t be the first of such requests in the shop 😂🤣. Will send you a DM about that. Wishing you happier days…Janet xx
Thankyou Janet, such a lovely message. IG stepford wives made me giggle. Ohhh so it’s not just me that suffers with the old camel toe then!
Thankyou so much for popping across , Tracey xxx
I fully agree, I also get comments like’I wish I had your life’ !
I think REALLY!
look under the surface and ask me how it feels sometimes!
You know and listen , thats the you I love and want you to share my laughs and my tears x
The haters will always hate. If you can look at yourself in the mirror & know you’ve been true to yourself then the job is done. Basically bollocks to them 🤣
I love your IG. I don’t always comment and always forget to click ‘like’ but you are one of the best bloggers I follow as you keep it real. Hope your mum is having a better day today and you keep being you. Xx
Oh I love this post! You wrote it so beautifully, raw and real! I think we need authenticity in this crazy world we are all trying to navigate. Thanks for taking the risk! Keep posting your fab piccies and being you. Xx
I can’t see the harm in posting what you want to post. I’m still ‘new’ in the grand scheme of things and new nothing about the do’s and don’t’s as it were when I joined Insta. But I’ve read an awful lot about it this past year. The IG purists believe that personal stuff should be for Facebook and that Instagram is still about Art & photography. However, so many people enjoy the positivity of Insta, they’ve abandoned FB in droves and as such personal stuff creeps into Insta. So… where do I stand? I don’t mind! I get a bit bored if someone posts 10 pics in a row of Snapchat filters vid they’re bored & drunk but I still don’t unfollow! Be you, be authentic. That’s all any of us can and should be.
Morning Bean, I totally agree we should be able to post what we want and I guess most people do. The drunk vids etc don’t appeal to me either, I just scroll past but like you I don’t unfollow. I’m not saying I want IG turn into FB… [ no thankyou] it’s just some people’s feed are so perfect , it’s unrealistic. I do think it effects certain people and how they think about themselves but not in a positive way. One of my favourite bloggers recently did an IG post on her battle with depression. It was unexpected [ looking at her feed you’d never know] but so refreshing [ wonderful U] I just want a bit more authenticity. I suppose it’s a subject that will always divide opinion. Thankyou so much for popping across and commenting x
Most definitely ‘our Trace’, most definitely….
#donthavetotellme #bullshitfree
Hello lovely ! I’ve been missing your musings over on Instagram . Thankyou for popping across & commenting – #bullshitfree x
In all honesty I think this is is your best blog post yet, heartfelt and true. I totally hear what you are saying. Hope your mum is having a good day today. Xx
Thats so kind. It will no doubt split opinion but let’s start the conversation . Thankyou for popping across and commenting xx